Her husband was a Strictly Come Dancing addict. You couldnt get his attention when the programme was on. But when she said, Malcolm, I think Im pregnant, he turned the tv off immediately, and danced her around the room. Theyd been trying for ten years and now shed conceived.
When the first scan revealed a girl, Malcolm began drawing up a list of necessary purchases such as a cot and a baby car-seat. Do we buy pink clothes, or is that sexist stereotyping nowadays? he asked solemnly.
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BUT…
It was to be the most exciting evening of my life.
A gala dinner and night in a five star hotel in London all expenses paid, a reward for all my hard work.
Time spent in the spa at the hotel, then the full beauty treatments. Hair, nails all perfect. My outfit the most expensive I’d ever bought.
Walking into the ballroom I noticed people smiling, as I went past feeling good. A waitress sidled up to me, ”Madame you have your dress tucked in your underwear.”
Brian does good for his parents
“I once found a magic lamp” said Brian “and a genie popped out of it.”
“Oh yeah?” Susie replied in her nasally croak “Was it a big burly man, naked from the waist up or was it a beautiful lady calling you master or some up?”
“It wasn’t like anything you could imagine,” Brian snorted “Didn’t look remotely human.”
“Was it pink?” yawned Susie “Did it have tentacles.”
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