Dr. John Forbes sighed as he lay down a well ruffled newspaper upon his armrest. Once again, another southern preacher had been brought low, for as a famed proclaimer of family values and tee totalism this gentleman had been caught with a mistress and a mountain of cocaine.
“Hypocrisy” Dr. Forbes pondered, “is seen as a wretched sin. But is it in a sense a virtue?”
He spoke to his audience of fellow professors lounging around in the staff room, well rested on good tea. If his lectures weren’t listened to, they were at least a comfortable background noise.
“I’d say,” Dr. Forbes went on “Hypocrisy is a necessary evil for a functional society. A parent states the old maxim ‘don’t do what I do, just do as I say’ as a means of maintaining authority. We’ve all done wild, bratty things as kids of course, but our own children need not know it. If the child thinks mother and father were perfect and well-behaved in their youth, well that gives the child something to live up to. It sets a good example.”
A cough from a neighbouring chair, as Professor Malcom struggled to stay awake.
“And” Dr. Forbes went on “the hypocrite is at least aware that his misdeeds are shameful and by concealing these transgressions, he doesn’t encourage others to partake in them. The open sinner glamorises the sin, all but inviting others to do the same. Because of this I’m sorry to say that I can at least respect the discreet adulterer who tries to keep his affair a secret than the “open relationship” man who makes a mockery of the sanctity of marriage.”
Dr. Forbes adjusted his glasses to see that a few men were engrossed over their crossword puzzles or raiding the biscuit tin, only Professor Malcom appeared to be listening to his little sermon.
“It’s true,” Dr. Forbes went on “the hypocrite is advocating a virtue he himself cannot achieve but although we may never obtain perfection, we must always strive towards it. If one tries and fails, then one at least accomplishes more than the person who never even attempts it.”
“Then again,” Professor Malcom groaned as he sat up in his chair “being honoured and praised for your supposed virtues is agreeable but to actually be saintly is rather tedious. And sinning is a lot of fun provided you’re not caught which of course comes with the stigma of the pariah. Hypocrisy gives you the best of both worlds, eh Forbes?”
“You could say that,” Dr. Forbes sniffed. “I’d say we should still strive for virtue even though we may occasionally slip up.”
