Author Archives: swanseawriters

A Demon’s Perspective

Posted on by under 2020, September 2020 - Demons

I read a lot, stories mainly, it helps to pass eternity. One idea that regularly catches my attention is the advice that you should always be in charge of your own stories: never let others tell them on your behalf or you will inevitably come out badly. So very true, and excellent advice for we demons who have suffered greatly from such blatant cultural appropriation down the ages.

I mean, you’ve heard the one about the Gadarene swine? Completely Fake News. Where was the demonic voice in that tale? Suppressed, and completely rewritten to make demons look really bad. As well as all those artists like Fuesli, another really atrocious exponent of anti-demon propaganda is Salman Rushdie, who ruthlessly exploits the demonic repertoire for his own profit. It makes me weep the way demons have come to be associated with wickedness.

Continue reading →

He Dun It!

Posted on by under 2020, September 2020 - Demons

Everyone on first meeting Lucinda thought she was a delightful little girl, with her long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes, she seemed such a perfect little Angel. She lived with her parents and her younger brother, Damien in a nice large house in the countryside. The family pet was an old retriever named Goldie, who faithfully followed Lucinda wherever she went.

In school term, there was a nice easy-going atmosphere in the house as everyone had a definite routine to stick to. Lucinda went to ballet and gymnastics after school, and Damien had swimming lessons, not that they did him much good. The weekends were usually pretty booked up with sleepovers and camping trips.

Continue reading →

My Sister’s Demons

Posted on by under 2020, September 2020 - Demons

It started off like a game. Lucy passed me her piece of cake under the table on Mum’s birthday. It felt funny singing happy birthday when half an hour ago Mum was crying, and Dad wasn’t living with us anymore. But I got two slices of cake and that made me smile.

Then she started putting all her lunch in my lunchbox. I didn’t know what to do with it.

It wasn’t only the food. She shouted all the time and she was always in her room. Mum said it was just teenage behaviour, but I didn’t think so.

Continue reading →

The Way Back

Posted on by under 2020, August 2020 - The Long and Winding Road

It brought tears to my eyes when the hospital staff clapped my Dad’s discharge from hospital.  My Mum and I clung onto each side of the wheelchair as the porter wheeled Dad out. As we neared our house, all of our friends and neighbours had turned out to welcome Dad back, cheering our return.

It was a moment that Mum and I didn’t think would happen.  The last two months were our private nightmares, each of us afraid to answer the phone, expecting the worst.  But now, finally my Dad had come home. 

Mum and I would never forgive ourselves, blaming his symptoms on man flu.  It was Dad himself who had phoned the doctor in the end.  I was surprised they even had his medical records, I don’t ever recall him seeing the Doctor.  The ambulance had been at the door within twenty minutes.  They took dad off leaving the two of us bewildered on the doorstep.  I didn’t see my Dad again for twelve long weeks.

Continue reading →

Long Winding Road

Posted on by under 2020, August 2020 - The Long and Winding Road

Symptoms. Appointments. Tests. Diagnoses. Differential diagnoses. Treatments. Drugs. Drugs to counteract the effects of earlier drugs. Surgery? No surgery. And finally, a rejection of a medicalized interpretation and an emphatic setting aside of drugs, treatments and advice.

What I really need is fresh air, gorgeous surroundings and free space to ramble about in. Derbyshire maybe. Or the Lakes.

Yes, I can see the benefit of a complete change, but what if something bad happens and you take a turn for the worse? I mean, will you even be able to walk in all that free space?

I’d rather take a turn for the worse somewhere beautiful. Please, just load the tent and stuff in the car and let’s go.

Continue reading →

Wind Street Waltz 2054

Posted on by under 2020, August 2020 - The Long and Winding Road

Punting down Wind Street, Jess’s thoughts turned to the Wales On-Line  headline  2nd August 2020,-“The areas of Wales set to be underwater in 30 years due to climate change” 

“WAY too long.  My choice:-  Climate Catastrophe;-Wet Wales Underwater in 30  and include a virtual reality video.  But out by 4 years only, –  pretty good.”

Back then aged  23,  it was the imminent re-assignment surgery rather than a career in politics which excited the trainee multi-media reporter.

“Or floated my boat!”

Continue reading →

Home Again

Posted on by under 2020, August 2020 - The Long and Winding Road

After a long journey by train, standing on the platform, looking up into the blue

sky, I decided to walk to the farm. A bit of a trek but I was wanting to tune back into the countryside, the winding lane and all its treasures.

Hedges bristling with new growth, smelling wonderful after years of living in the city. Breezes gently caressing my face, a smile appeared, my shoulders dropped, all tensions fading away. Birds chirping as they flitted about in their endless search for insects, animals grazing in the meadows bleating and lowing.

Continue reading →

Closed

Posted on by under 2020, August 2020 - The Long and Winding Road

           

They closed the bridge on the Welsh side. Drivers already on the bridge going westwards beat furiously on the dashboards of their halted vehicles in the hot midday sun, then tuned-in to Radio Wales to discover that ‘the virus’ was the reason. ‘It’s coming from the east,’ a politician said, too diplomatic to blame ‘England’. ‘We’re not letting it into Wales.’ The three lanes east were now empty; all traffic from Wales had ceased.

            At the far end of the bridge traffic police made vehicles reverse into England, the outside lane first. After a long boiling hour, the middle lane began to go backwards and then stopped. Each driver tuned into English radio stations to hear a politician with a plummy voice say that due to the ‘prevalence’ of the virus in Wales, the Prime Minister had closed the bridge in ‘both directions’.

Continue reading →

The Gift of Tears

Posted on by under 2020, July 2020 - First Love

In the ongoing dialogue between the Me that I am today and versions of my earlier self, one outstanding feeling is of embarrassment.  How could I have worn that dress, for goodness sake?  Why on earth would I say that? Did anyone hear me, or worse, remember it? Does anyone have a photo of that disaster of a night out and which is going to appear on social media at any moment? Yet I sympathise, empathise, with these junior versions. They have melded into who I am.

Sometimes you read letters, or articles made to read like letters, from people giving advice to their younger self.  Great advice. Sensible. It’s always to a person of fixed age, usually just starting out on independent living.  The tone is kind, wise and reassuring. I can’t do that. I’ve been embarrassing myself since I was born, so Previous Versions skip between ages, each with its capacity to compromise dignity. Anyway, I wouldn’t have listened to good advice (thereby avoiding social calamity) at any age. Social calamity seems to be my default.

Continue reading →

Crushing Memories

Posted on by under 2020, July 2020 - First Love

A local radio station, a golden oldie slot, and they were playing his song in the empty pub. He sipped his lunchtime lager, waiting for the kick that would numb his sense of who he was. He wiped the froth of beer from his mouth and wished he could wipe away the froth of memory the tune stirred up. His reflection in the glass behind the bar showed a puffy, beery face, thinning brown hair, and eyes as lifeless as those of a corpse.  

Continue reading →

Jamie Adams

Posted on by under 2020, July 2020 - First Love

Ann and Pat had been friends since childhood, often meeting for a meal and a few drinks. Such it was this evening at the local pub, catching up on the goings-on in their lives.

Suddenly a record came on. Looking at each other a smile led to giggles,  singing along as they had in their younger days.

”What a blast from the past,” Ann laughed, reddening. She remembered those days. ”To think that was my first love, Jamie Adams.”

Pat roared with laughter: ”Lust more likely!!”

Continue reading →

Solipsism

Posted on by under 2020, July 2020 - First Love

I was in the school library one day, reading a dog-eared book on Isaac Newton when I happened to notice that a girl sitting at a nearby table had taken a shine to me. I could tell because I spotted her reflection by way of the window and couldn’t fail to note her dreamy eyes, chewed lip, and the bashfulness stamped across her face. No other way of looking at it, someone was infatuated with me.

That was odd, because A, this girl, (tall, ginger, with a bit of a chin) usually shot me a look of complete disdain whenever we encountered each other, which I suppose in retrospect was a defence mechanism.

And B, Jesus, why would anyone take a shine to me? The school had made it perfectly plain that I was at the bottom of the heap, shoved into a pigeonhole marked “Spaz” which the higher-ups gladly pissed into.

Continue reading →

First Love

Posted on by under 2020, July 2020 - First Love

“Hello Madge, I haven’t seen you round here for ages, popping back to see your folks are you?”

“Oh, hi Ange, something like that.”

“And how’s that gorgeous hubby of yours, keeping well is he? Still playing his guitar?”

“I presume so, I don’t really know, the fact of the matter is that we’ve split up.”

“Oo, sorry to hear that, trust me to put my foot in it.  How you coping then, fancy a drink?”

Continue reading →

Nearing The End

Posted on by under 2020, June 2020 - Death

Scene 1.

The signs had been there for days. Steve, always a stickler for rules, had studied the conflicting government guidance and erred on the side of safety. Standing before the blinking red light, he was unrecognisable in a white Hazmat suit, respirator face-mask and blue protective gloves. Not that there was anyone else present to recognise him.

“Only one flash per second. Dear old boy, not much life left. ” He breathed out long and slow, turned away and brushing a hand to cheek, made for the door. Note to self… alcohol gel  NOW and don’t touch your face! 

Following the science of the most cautious of experts, – complete disrobing, bagging up the PPE  for secure disposal, throwing contaminated clothes in for a 90 degree wash, swabbing down all surfaces, having a hot shower and full change of clothes, followed by a UV dose of garden sun  – all this was now such a familiar  routine. 

Continue reading →

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

Posted on by under 2020, June 2020 - Death

A small group gathered by the gate shaking their heads in subdued silence. Each wore dull colours and sensible shoes. Some clutched bunches of drooping spring flowers which mimicked their own demeanour. Occasionally little bursts of conversation gurgled to the surface. It wasn’t a day for the customary jovial exchanges.

It took me completely by surprise. If I’d known, I could have taken better care. Could have covered things up a bit.

I know. There was no real warning was there? Now I’ve lost everything. I’ll just have to start all over again. It’s just so sad and upsetting.

Well, we’ve all suffered the loss in different ways. For me, it was my special Marguerite.

There were early attempts to pick up the pieces and put forward a more positive view of events. After all, not everything was completely lost and there was time for most to begin again.

Continue reading →

Cheating Death

Posted on by under 2020, June 2020 - Death

Oswald, aged 120, a spry wrinkled gentleman with flowing grey locks and all his own teeth, sat in his armchair.  His chair was strategically placed as near as possible to the reception desk next to the Nursing Home door, he was waiting for his next victim.

Most of the residents had warned their relatives about him, nearly always too late of course, as Ossie was always in his prime position keeping his ears alert for the ring of the doorbell, and keeping a vigilant watch through the bay window for any approaching prey.

Continue reading →

DEATH…

Posted on by under 2020, June 2020 - Death

Death was being promoted. She had been second in command for eons and now it was her turn. She didn’t know how it happened, in that line of work who knew how anything happened. Anyway, she was going to give it her best shot, after all, she knew the ropes.

What nobody ever knew was that she still had a tiny spark of humanity left which she had hidden well for all of these centuries.

Continue reading →

Passover

Posted on by under 2020, June 2020 - Death

Laying in my hospital bed surrounded by machines beeping and whirling. Family sitting anxiously nearby. Doctors and nurses silently hovering. I can’t believe the doctors are telling my family that now it’s in God’s hands; they can do no more. How silly is that?

I can hear everything, just can’t open my eyes. They are just too heavy. Going to be fine, just need to rest a little while longer.

Death does not frighten me, I just don’t feel it’s my time. This condition I have is no fun to live with. There have been many scares over the years but I have always pulled through. How can I leave my children and grandchildren? They need me.

Continue reading →

TREVOR

Posted on by under 2020, June 2020 - Death

Trevor could always trump what you were saying.

            ‘Serious accident on the Mumbles Road,’ a fellow said. ‘They sent an ambulance.’

            ‘Two,’ said Trevor. ‘The second came straight after. Multiple injuries, see.’

            ‘There was a police car there as well,’ the fellow said.

            ‘And a helicopter,’ Trevor added. ‘Carnage, deaths, blood.’

            Another time a woman said she’d seen a naval boat in the bay. The Royal Navy in Swansea Bay? What were they doing: shopping at Sainsburys in the Marina? Then Trevor announced:

            ‘Escorted by a submarine. Top secret, apparently. Came to the surface for a moment. Spotted it at once, I did.’

Continue reading →

The Shipping Forecast and Other Prognoses

Posted on by under 2020, June 2020 - Death

Jim tuned the radio to the shipping forecast, taking him back to his navy days. Back when a soothing voice could help navigate stormy seas. No such guidance now. No telling whether Sue’s cancer was progressing at a rate of forty-five knots or greater. But it was comforting to know that Biscay was south-west six to gale eight as he made her tea.

He poured the water into the teapot. Their best china, because what had been the point of saving it? What occasion were they ever waiting for? He remembered buying this set on their honeymoon at the flea market in Paris. Sue’s eyes had lit up at the sight of the gold-rimmed birds perched among vibrant blossoms. He’d have paid any price for it, to make her happy. Still, it had pleased him to strike a bargain and demonstrate his bartering skills, not to mention his French. She’d stood on her tiptoes and kissed him full on the lips in front of everyone in the market, and he’d felt his cheeks flush with pride. He was the luckiest man alive.

Continue reading →
error: Content is protected !!