Author Archives: swanseawriters

Slippy Slips

Posted on by under 2019, November

Shippy Shipman (obviously), Stringy Shipman (he was very skinny), Smelly Shipman (a faint whiff of the boys bog seemed to follow him closely): in the end it all seemed to settle around Slippy Shipman. Not the worst of nicknames, nor the best either but definitely better than Smelly.

Slippy was of the middle range in most things. He could read and spell competently, and follow much of what he was required to know in order for his school not to fall too far in the SATS league tables.  He had a few friends of the non-heroically-sporty variety and was rarely bullied either by teachers or peers. His parents loved him dearly but had no illusions of his excellence. They just wanted him to be happy without seriously wondering how that state might be achieved.

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Hard Fact

Posted on by under 2019, November

Her husband was a Strictly Come Dancing addict. You couldn’t get his attention when the programme was on. But when she said, ‘Malcolm, I think I’m pregnant,’ he turned the tv off immediately, and danced her around the room. They’d been trying for ten years and now she’d conceived.
When the first scan revealed a girl, Malcolm began drawing up a list of necessary purchases such as a cot and a baby car-seat. ‘Do we buy pink clothes, or is that sexist stereotyping nowadays?’ he asked solemnly.

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BUT…

Posted on by under 2019, November

It was to be the most exciting evening of my life.
A gala dinner and night in a five star hotel in London all expenses paid, a reward for all my hard work.
Time spent in the spa at the hotel, then the full beauty treatments. Hair, nails all perfect. My outfit the most expensive I’d ever bought.
Walking into the ballroom I noticed people smiling, as I went past feeling good. A waitress sidled up to me, ”Madame you have your dress tucked in your underwear.”

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Brian does good for his parents

Posted on by under 2019, November

“I once found a magic lamp” said Brian “and a genie popped out of it.”

“Oh yeah?” Susie replied in her nasally croak “Was it a big burly man, naked from the waist up or was it a beautiful lady calling you master or some up?”

“It wasn’t like anything you could imagine,” Brian snorted “Didn’t look remotely human.”

“Was it pink?” yawned Susie “Did it have tentacles.”

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TIDAL WAVE

Posted on by under 2019, October

I was watching the news about the weather climate.  It’s warming up and the ice is melting which is worrying.  And seeing other places being flooded, I thought that it would never happen here. Keeping up with the weather forecast, which was saying we were safe, told me there was no way we could get it as bad as some others places. But then I was talking to a mate,  and he said have you heard that we could have high waves. I said, ‘How high?’ ‘Oh about 120 foot in the sea, but about 60 foot on land.’ 

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The Tsunami

Posted on by under 2019, October

The news reporter has just put a warning out. It suggests that a wave could hit Swansea like it has hit other places just months ago. She said, ‘People are trying to stay calm but everyone is scared and worried, nobody knows when or how soon it will arrive and what damage it might or might not cause, but many want to be prepared.’

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The Big Wave – Martha’s Story

Posted on by under 2019, October

Of course there had been warnings. The Met Office issued  a statement for ‘the people of Great Britain.’ This statement consisted of a lacklustre attempt to inform us what to do in the event of a flood. Swansea City citizens were to pop down to the Civic Centre and collect 5 sandbags. I ask you…..how are people going to carry 5 sandbags up Constitution  Hill?

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Reciprocity

Posted on by under 2019, October

A line of makeshift shelters fringed the hillsides above the city. Outside crude shacks groups of people sat facing the sea, looking out at ominous signs of turbulence which been a familiar part of earlier lives. Many had experienced rapid costal land erosion where homes had once been.  Some had been fortunate escapees from rogue tides and surging waves that had wiped out people, dwellings and, often, all means of surviving. People had fled for their lives, joining the worldwide population of climate refugees in search of safety and clean water.

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Remains

Posted on by under 2019, October

They’d put the timber barriers in the few places where there was no sea wall. A high tide was due that night and they were prepared; the sea road would remain dry. In late afternoon the sky turned grey, and the clouds became worryingly dark. One large black cloud over the city appeared to have bloated cheeks and sockets for eyes. Somebody said it was the face of the devil.

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It Will Never Happen

Posted on by under 2019, October

“My word professor, this has to stop. I agreed to let you use the engineering students to build that enormous building that is indestructible .But I cannot have you phoning  Plantasia asking for their animals to be bought here .Your disciples have been creating panic by going around St.Thomas telling everyone a tsunami is coming .My phone has been red hot, there’s talk of the police becoming involved. They will be taking you away in a strait jacket if you’re not careful, think of the reputation of the university, man.” 

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Global Warning

Posted on by under 2019, October

To be honest we had had enough warnings. For years there had been premonitions of what was to come. Scientists had proof that the temperatures were rising, the sea levels were rising due to the receding ice at the poles.

There had been programmes telling us, and satellites showing us but nothing had been done. Governments were unwilling to force change and definitely against putting any money into avoiding the impending catastrophe.

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Armageddon

Posted on by under 2019, October

15 year old Jake handled the Rib with great aplomb as his bedraggled family scrambled aboard at the top of West Cross hill, teenager Amy was still texting as she held her phone clear of the water. Walter, the huge Newfoundland who’d found the RIB settled down inside with a loud huff. Mike his owner had spotted the RIB spinning in circles with its dead owner. ‘Fetch,’ he’d yelled to Walter. There was grandma huddled in the corner muttering to herself, granddad was clutching ‘Sapiens’ trying to read and teenage Ian was busy checking out the RIB’s supplies. They all wore wetsuits and life jackets but were in a pretty sorry state. Swansea Bay had turned into the Sea of Swansea and disappeared under a massive 120 foot tsunami. Despite constant warnings in all the media and loudspeakers bellowing out across the town few had been properly prepared for the devastation.

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An Act of God

Posted on by under 2019, October

It was a brave new start. Eirwen told her friends, “You must come and see me. I’m 14 floors up and the views … honestly! It’s like living on a cruise ship!”

Now she was confused. Very confused, her cheek pressed hard against the carpet. The sun fell in a sharp line across her face. She remembered a deafening sound. There had been a roll of thunder, except it wasn’t thunder, because it came from below … a helicopter, in trouble, rapidly closing in, skimming the surface of the sea … But now, everything was strangely muffled and she was on the floor, paralysed. This must be what a stroke is. Without moving her head, she could see the clock on the wall, in bright sunlight. It was 3 minutes past 4.

***

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Moving On

Posted on by under 2019, September

Anna peered at the ugly gnome in the elegant London house’s garden. What’s that doing there?’ She smiled at her fiancé, eyebrows raised.

            ‘Whatever you do, say nothing negative about that gnome.  It’s Mother’s pride and joy; I’m only second-best.’

            ‘I think you’re perfect, darling.’ Anna was raising herself on tiptoe to exchange a kiss when the front door opened.  Framed in the doorway stood a tiny, grey-haired lady.

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The Reading Room

Posted on by under 2019, September

She was there, again, long legs and arms draped around a radiator in the reading room of the city library.  With her long dark coat she looked like a spider curled up in the corner of the room.  I had seen her there a few times, always at the same time of day – late afternoon.  Now, it was early December.  Outside, it seemed the Xmas lights were diamonds, hanging and dancing between the trees.  Inside the library it was warm and dry and there was a strong smell of polish.

I had taken to going to the library most days as I wanted to look at travel guides, because I hoped to go away in January – on my  own, for the first time!

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Mmm

Posted on by under 2019, September

Only one item of mail this morning. It appears to be a card. In February? It is a card, a Valentine’s card. Who’d be sending her a Valentine’s card? Married, on the cusp of middle-age, though that threshold has of course not yet been crossed, no indeed.

            She opened it and read its one word: Mmm! Who on earth had written that? Had she a secret admirer? Her husband, Steve, was away in London with senior management. Did somebody know that and was taking advantage of his absence to send her a little cheer-up? Perhaps it was more serious? Could there really be somebody out there who’d noticed her? On the lip of middle-age? Sometimes, if she were really honest, she felt a bit of a frump, she felt she was past her sell-by-date, and sliding down a long bannister to oblivion.

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