Look, I don’t have a dog in this fight. I’m just telling it as I saw things, without bias of species or kind. Everyone knows that fairies are generally delicate, helpful, magical creatures. Even so, like every species, there is a rogue element amongst the fairy community. My kindred gnome brothers and sisters have long known this. If we have rogue elephants and rogue humans, rogue fairies are inevitable (I’m not saying gnomes are perfect either).
We’ve all shouted ‘I believe in fairies’ to make sure Tinkerbell is revived and her light is rekindled. That’s a decent, humanitarian, cross species response to a kind creature in trouble; a very worthy fairy. But we also have to talk about those fairies who have fallen from grace.
My experience is of a vicious fairy who was expelled from her village for tormenting specimens of the non-fairy world and causing them harm. This fairy was forced to live alone, and – working from a damp and smelly burrow – spent every hour devising plans to trap and harm non-fairies. What a truly wicked creature.
I think we are all a bit iffy about fairy rings, are we not? There are all sorts of tales doing the rounds about those with the gall to step inside such a circle of mushrooms being forced to dance until they drop dead. I can’t verify this or any other such tale – but best to err on the side of caution I say.
Anyway, our baddest of bad fairies went further than this. First the ordinary mushrooms were replaced with magic mushrooms. Then a beautiful tinkly sound was set up to lure unsuspecting creatures into the fairy ring, where the magic mushrooms gave off sweet odours that caused the intruder to giggle. Once in the ring, of course, the intruder had entered a portal which led to the murkier parts of fairy land.
It was here that the fairy did her very worst. She fitted the intruder with wings and insisted that they learn to fly by jumping off small hillocks. The one I saw looked a complete fool what with the giggling, the wings and the arms flapping and the repetitive jumping and tumbling.
Did I say very worst? The very, very worst thing was that the fairy filmed all this on the intruder’s mobile phone. Then she sent the video to all friends, business contacts and everyone else in phone’s contacts list before sending the poor intruder back to face life on earth.
I don’t know about you, but for a gnome this kind of humiliation would represent social death. Who could face any of those contacts again? It may be different for humans of course. From this episode I took two lesson which I offer to you for thought. Never ever to go near a fairy ring to avoid catastrophe. Perhaps more essential – always keep your phone well protected with passwords and spells so you cannot be shamed by a fairy.
