{"id":930,"date":"2021-08-26T17:24:31","date_gmt":"2021-08-26T17:24:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=930"},"modified":"2021-08-26T17:42:11","modified_gmt":"2021-08-26T17:42:11","slug":"the-revenge-of-the-wild-haggis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/the-revenge-of-the-wild-haggis\/930\/","title":{"rendered":"The Revenge of the Wild Haggis"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Based on the myth that Scotsmen hunt haggis<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somewhere in the Highlands of Scotland:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOrder! Order! I\u2019ve called this all clans meeting to discuss what we can do bout stopping our friends and families being kidnapped and eaten\u201d the Chief Clansman stated.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHear, hear\u201d shouted Wee Willie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAs e all know, it\u2019s around this time every year that we get hunted doon,\u201d the chief continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSommut must be done, I\u2019ll nay lose another bairn,\u201d interjected Aggi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe moust act now, if we\u2019re to save our bairns\u201d the Chief stated as he stamped his wee foot on the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI blame that Robbie Burns. What have we done to him, why are we being sacrificed like poor lambs to the slaughter?\u201d Jock asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHear, hear\u201d shouted Wee Willie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAye, I\u2019ll agree with e there Jock, I\u2019ve never heed of him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust for once, all our clans need to work together, otherwise we\u2019ll all be stuffed.  We need to be cunning, we need to be brave, and most of all we need to be committed.  Now here\u2019s my plan.\u201d The chief Haggis told them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The hunter was up early next morning, looking for haggis spoor.  He was so engrossed in his search that he almost missed the wee haggis jumping up and down a few yards in front of him.  He raised his net high and brought it crashing to the ground.  But Alexander, the fastest haggis in the north easily escaped and led him on a merry dance towards the trap.  It was almost too easy.  The hunter yelped as he caught his foot in the rabbit snare and tumbled to the ground.  Within minutes his long arms and legs were knotted together behind his back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The wee haggis spent a lot of time clapping each other on their backs, before they rolled him down the hill towards their fire.  They stuffed all his orifices with wild herbs, before splitting his belly open and pulling out his intestines to wrap him up in.  Although Haggis\u2019 are usually herbivores, they made an exception this one time, as eating the hunter was a way of returning all their lost kin back into the clans.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Based on the myth that Scotsmen hunt haggis Somewhere in the Highlands of Scotland: \u201cOrder! Order! I\u2019ve called this all clans meeting to discuss what we can do bout stopping our friends and families being kidnapped and eaten\u201d the Chief Clansman stated. \u201cHear, hear\u201d shouted Wee Willie. \u201cAs e all know, it\u2019s around this time […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"A very funny #flashfiction from #swanseawriters - \nThe Revenge of the Wild Haggis","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[379,520],"tags":[529],"class_list":["post-930","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-379","category-august-2021-revenge","tag-haggis-2"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-f0","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/930","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=930"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/930\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":936,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/930\/revisions\/936"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=930"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=930"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=930"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}