{"id":607,"date":"2020-10-18T14:28:08","date_gmt":"2020-10-18T14:28:08","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=607"},"modified":"2020-10-18T14:28:30","modified_gmt":"2020-10-18T14:28:30","slug":"a-fairy-godmothers-job-is-never-done","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/a-fairy-godmothers-job-is-never-done\/607\/","title":{"rendered":"A Fairy Godmother\u2019s Job is Never Done"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The Fairy Godmother arrived in a puff of smoke and surveyed the chaos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat the hell is going on here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cinderella opened one eye, still lying in bed dressed in last night\u2019s clothes. Empty wine bottles and a month\u2019s worth of washing-up littered the floor, the dirty clothes pile reaching the ceiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat time is it?\u201d she muttered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMid-day. Why are you in halls at Swansea University instead of at the palace?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, I left the boring prince ages ago. Decided to come to Uni, but now we\u2019re in lockdown and it\u2019s no fun anymore. Can you believe those vile ugly sisters happened to be on the same corridor as me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat is that smell?\u201d said the Fairy Godmother, opening a window.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAh. That. Um\u2026 that\u2019s why I messaged you last night. You\u2019d better look in the bath. Please don\u2019t be mad, they drove me to it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Fairy Godmother opened the en-suite bathroom door to a swarm of flies and a stench that hit her like a brick wall. She pulled back the shower curtain to reveal the two decomposing bodies of the evil stepsisters slumped over one another in a tangle of limbs in the bathtub.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCinderella! How long have they been here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA week. They were making my life a misery! I couldn\u2019t escape, we\u2019re not allowed to leave the corridor. I snapped in the end. Bludgeoned them with a glass slipper. I don\u2019t know what to do with them now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis isn\u2019t a Tarantino movie, Cinderella! I\u2019m Felicity the Fairy Godmother, not Mr. Wolf \u2018The Cleaner.\u2019 You\u2019ll be in a different sort of lockdown situation if this gets out. I\u2019ll have to make it look like they died of Covid. Stand back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With one flick of the wand the bodies disappeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cinderella clasped her hands together in wonder. \u201cWow! Where did they go?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTheir bodies will be found in their beds with no trace of your fingerprints, after you make a phone-call to student welfare to say you haven\u2019t seen them for a few days. But first, you have some serious cleaning up to do.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat? Can\u2019t you just do that magic wand thingy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAbsolutely not! You used to be so good at cleaning, remember?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI get such terrible flashbacks to those days when I try to clean and tidy\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat won\u2019t wash with me, young lady. Come on!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cinderella dragged out the dusty hoover whilst the Fairy Godmother knocked on all the doors and ordered each hungover student to help with the clean-up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy aren\u2019t Anastasia and Drizella helping?\u201d whined one disgruntled teenager.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThey\u2019re self-isolating,\u201d said Cinderella.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Fairy Godmother had gone home by the time student welfare arrived and discovered the step sisters\u2019 bodies. Cinderella feigned horror along with everyone else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnyone recognise this shoe that was found in their room?\u201d said one of the officers, holding up a blood-stained glass slipper.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cinderella did what she did best. She turned and ran from the scene as the midnight chimes rang out across the city.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Fairy Godmother arrived in a puff of smoke and surveyed the chaos. \u201cWhat the hell is going on here?\u201d Cinderella opened one eye, still lying in bed dressed in last night\u2019s clothes. Empty wine bottles and a month\u2019s worth of washing-up littered the floor, the dirty clothes pile reaching the ceiling. \u201cWhat time is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"A brilliantly funny new story from SWANSEA WRITERS:\n\nA Fairy Godmother\u2019s Job is Never Done\n\n#flashfiction","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[121,313],"tags":[320,322,323],"class_list":["post-607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-121","category-october-2020-lockdown","tag-cinderella","tag-fairy-god-mother","tag-ugly-sisters"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-9N","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=607"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":613,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/607\/revisions\/613"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}