{"id":427,"date":"2020-05-10T21:30:19","date_gmt":"2020-05-10T21:30:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=427"},"modified":"2020-05-12T16:34:42","modified_gmt":"2020-05-12T16:34:42","slug":"things-that-will-happen-after-the-divorce","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/things-that-will-happen-after-the-divorce\/427\/","title":{"rendered":"Things That Will Happen After the Divorce"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

You\u2019ll think it\u2019s killing you at first. You\u2019ll want to stay in bed, picking apart everything you\u2019ve said and done (and not said and done) in the last year. What if you\u2019d listened more, moaned less, worn lipstick…?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The last thing you\u2019ll want to do is clad yourself in Lycra and gasp for breath in the gym. You\u2019ll think the place is full of self-obsessed freaks, like that airhead he left you for. But Helen will drag you along.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A routine will form. Those new trainers, the neon pink ones Helen said you should splash out on, will beckon to you every morning before dawn. You\u2019ll sweat a little more and cry a little less. Five rounds of squats, eight reps each. Increase the weight by five kilograms. Go to work. Go to bed. Repeat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There will be nights when the pain will wind itself around your neck and burrow into your heart. On your anniversary. When his favourite song comes on the radio. When you\u2019ll be at a party and your friends will study the floor and shift their feet when you ask if they\u2019ve seen him. If they\u2019ve met her. Yes, they\u2019ll say, then change the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Then one day, you\u2019ll see him outside a shop, head bent under a giant rainbow umbrella. You\u2019ll gasp and say his name involuntarily. He\u2019ll look up, your eyes will meet, and for a second a smile will flash across his face before it crumples up with concern. That familiar ache will form in your chest, burning up into your throat. He\u2019ll rush to fill the silence. How are you? You look well. You\u2019ll stutter back, I\u2019m fine, your tongue tripping over all the things you can\u2019t say.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Time will stand still as the rain falls in slow motion and your thoughts tumble through space. He\u2019ll look tired in that coat, in the shade of green that washes him out. You\u2019ll notice shadows under his eyes. New frown lines.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019ll clip-clop out of the shop and stand beside him. This is Ellie, he\u2019ll say, and you\u2019ll both force a smile. She\u2019ll be young, like you expected. Her heavily drawn-on eyebrows will furrow, watching him watching you. Bright eyes like Bambi, darting from his face to yours. Fight or flight. You\u2019ll say goodbye and he\u2019ll linger a second too long. She\u2019ll tug at his sleeve, let\u2019s go, and whisk him away under the rainbow umbrella. You\u2019ll sink to the ground in the street, hugging your knees to your chest, oblivious to the people walking by.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There will be a man in the gym who performs a strange exercise with a kettlebell every day. When he smiles at you, your heart-rate will accelerate and you\u2019ll find yourself adding a swing to your hips as you pass him. He\u2019ll ask you for coffee and you\u2019ll find out his name is James and that exercise is called a Turkish Get-Up, and you\u2019ll laugh again. You\u2019ll laugh again and you will survive.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

You\u2019ll think it\u2019s killing you at first. You\u2019ll want to stay in bed, picking apart everything you\u2019ve said and done (and not said and done) in the last year. What if you\u2019d listened more, moaned less, worn lipstick…? The last thing you\u2019ll want to do is clad yourself in Lycra and gasp for breath in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[121,227],"tags":[56,230,39,127,37],"class_list":["post-427","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-121","category-may-2020-survival","tag-after","tag-divorce","tag-happen","tag-things","tag-will"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-6T","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/427","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=427"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/427\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":444,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/427\/revisions\/444"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=427"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=427"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=427"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}