{"id":376,"date":"2020-03-30T09:46:11","date_gmt":"2020-03-30T09:46:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=376"},"modified":"2020-03-30T09:46:13","modified_gmt":"2020-03-30T09:46:13","slug":"the-election-promise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/the-election-promise\/376\/","title":{"rendered":"The Election Promise"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It had been a tough one, but the \u2018Support Our People\u2019 party (SOP) had just squeezed through.\u00a0 The gamble of promising what the people wanted was a brave manifesto, and now they had to come up with the goods.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was a week later that they\nactually got down to any business, it had taken that long for the effects of\nthe copious amount of champagne to wear off. \nThe speaker and Chairman of the SOP party, Lord Charles Alexander\nGrovner gave his opening speech.  The\nfloor was then open to his underling Lords to come up with ideas that would\nsupport their manifesto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

\u201cItem 1 on the Agenda \u2013 Zero\nEmissions by 2050 \u2013 now which of you clots thought that was a bright idea\u201d\nbarked Lord Charles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat would be one of mine Sir, we\nreally do have to do something this time around.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, I should have known it was\nyou, Jenkins, and how the hell are we going to achieve that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve had this marvellous idea,\nUncle Charles,\u201d shouted James.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

His nephew on his wife\u2019s side,\nCharles groaned loudly, he needed to sit down for this. He nodded for James to\nbegin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had this idea that we could give\nup cars altogether.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

A loud \u201cI say, steady on\u201d came from\nthe chambers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet\u2019s hear the boy out\u201d Lord\nCharles said, thinking otherwise he\u2019d never hear the end of it from his wife. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve been told that it\u2019s possible\nto send a hologram of yourself to wherever you want to go, and that hologram\ncan be programmed to react and think as your own brain would.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The chamber began to take a bit\nmore notice, this was beginning to sound good to them, it seemed that they\ncould stay a bed and work at the same time. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd does this device have a name?\u201d\nasked the particularly lazy peer Benjamin Portcullis, eager to show that he was\nlistening and was having an active part in the proceedings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s still at the prototype stage\nat the moment, but I would like to call it the BOAT \u2013 Beam one atomised\nthere.  BOAT is a simple acronym that\neven the hoi polloi would understand that it\u2019s a means of transport.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell done\u201d said Charles, surprised\nthat the boy was showing any initiative at all, \u201cHave a report on my desk first\nthing tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turning his head towards the\nchamber he asked, \u201cWhat about the rest of you, any ideas on achieving Zero\nEmissions by, what year was it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c2050, Uncle.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, anybody?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI suppose we could stop everybody\neating Baked Beans, that could stop some emissions\u201d Lord Peter Archibald Smythe\nsaid laughingly, \u201cthey make me fart like an elephant.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think we might be getting\nsomewhere now, do many people eat these Baked Beans, should this be a\nnationwide concern?\u201d Lord Charles enquired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course, most of the nation has\nbeen brought up on them\u201d Peter replied, not knowing if he had his facts right\nbut asserting that he was on the same hymn sheet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s settled then, Peter\norganise a meeting with the manufacturers, and lets see if we can buy them\noff.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat about Brussels Sprouts, I let\nout a corker at Christmas, had to blame it on the dog of course,\u201d joined in the\nnewest member of the cabinet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAfter the BREXIT fiasco, I didn\u2019t\nknow we were still importing them, yes lets place an embargo on those.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMoving on to Item 2 ..\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cUncle, I have another plan on\nreducing our emissions, before we go on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet\u2019s hear it then, and then I\nthink a spot of lunch may be in order.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s about cows, their belching is\nknown to produce toxic gases that are harming the ozone layer.  I\u2019ve already been in touch with a well-known\npharmaceutical supplier and they have assured me that they\u2019ll are on board with\nthis.  The plan is to include fine\npowdered chalk into their feed, this should help to reduce their belching or\nstop it all together.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cForgive me, if I\u2019m wrong, but\ndon\u2019t cows eat grass.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh yes, they have covered that angle\nas well, all farmers fields will be treated before the cows are even allowed to\nconsume even one blade of grass.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lord Charles realising there might\nbe a downside to this asked \u201cAnd would there be any side effects?\u201d  His fondness for cheese was setting off alarm\nbells.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThe pharmaceutical company haven\u2019t\ntold me about any, so I\u2019d say no.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat report on my desk in the\nmorning as well then James.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

During the lunch break, members of\nthe party consumed a large amount of free food along with gallons of alcoholic\nbeverages to get them through what already seemed to be a very long day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Back at the house, and back to the\nmanifesto promises.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cItem 2 \u2013 Immigration \u2013 how are we\ngoing to control it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFollowing on from James\u2019s BOAT\nidea, might I suggest that if you\u2019re not actually going anywhere personally,\nthat you won\u2019t need a passport\u201d. By the way, excellent idea James\u201d announced\nLord Sebastian Clarke \u201cBy the way, excellent idea James\u201d he added obsequiously,\nhoping that sycophantism was the way up the ladder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lord Charles made a note in his\nmental diary to keep an eye on that ambitious idiot. \u201cI don\u2019t follow, how is\nthis going to help us with the immigration issue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the clever bit, it\u2019s like\nthis.  You take your good lady on holiday\nevery year, but using the BOAT system, you never leave the country but still\nhave an excellent holiday through your hologram. It will work the same with the\nimmigrants, we can get them to do all the work, but as they are not physically\nhere, they cannot be included in the stats. \nIts all smoke and mirrors.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet me get this right, there will still\nbe immigrant holograms working in British jobs?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s the beauty of the scheme,\nyou can use an avatar hologram, which will run a programme that will make them\nsound very British, the public would need to wear eclipse glasses to be able to\nsee through the disguise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou coordinate with James and\ninclude it in his report.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cItem 3 \u2013 National Health Service \u2013\nnow what brave soul wants to take this on, a permanent hot potato, Lord\nPortcullis over to you\u201d Lord Charles was certainly putting them through their paces\ntoday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A sharp poke in his ribs brought\nBenjamin to his feet.  \u201cMy Lord, as you\nknow there are the same problems that are affecting the NHS funds that have\nbeen going on unchallenged for years\u201d he blustered on, not even knowing where\nhe was going himself.  \u201cThe biggest draw\non the funds are the pensioners, with their need for vast amounts of medications,\nand general health care, also because of their high numbers, the Pension State\nFund is starting to wobble.  The second\nbiggest expenditure seems to be exacerbated by what seems to be a decade long\nbaby boom, both of these are a huge drain on our limited resources.  I think now is our opportunity to really make\na difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lord Charles enjoying watching\nBenjamin squirm said \u201cand what do you propose?\u201d \nAll the members of the party took a sharp intake of breath, it was like\nbeing on centre court at Wimbledon.  They\nall directed their gaze back to Benjamin, who seemed to be having trouble with\nhis collar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell, my Lord in my own humble\nopinion, others may think differently of course\u201d he looked desperately around\nthe room, hoping for some support. \nEverybody immediately found something of great interest on the floor and\navoided his eye contact.  Lord Benjamin\nPortcullis stood proud, thinking damn the lot of them, here goes nothing, or\nmaybe my career and my pension.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWith regards to the State Pension,\nwe could raise the starting age to 75 and state a cessation date of the payment\non the pensioner\u2019s 90th<\/sup> birthday. \nAlso, we could refuse to pay out if anyone had savings over \u00a350,000\u201d he\nlooked at the alarm on the faces of his colleagues.  Taking pleasure in their discomfort he went on\nfurther, \u201cand any second or third homes would automatically be sold and the\nprofits would go to the NHS fund to help keep it buoyant.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI say, let\u2019s not be too hasty\u201d\nmurmured a nearby member whose remark was taken up by the rest of the audience.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOrder! Order\u201d Lord Charles gravel\ncrashed to his desk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you Benjamin, I think we\nwill take another recess at this point, take the time to phone your mistresses\nand wives, to tell them the meeting might turn into an all -nighter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The session recommences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Item 4 \u2013 Obesity<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI think we will all agree that\nthis would normally be a sub section of Item 3, but the problem has grown out\nof all proportion and needs to be addressed immediately.  I open this to the floor, has anyone anything\nto say?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A former physics lecturer who had\nbeen knighted by the queen raised his hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThere has recently been a survey\nundertaken on nano bots, and the way they can be used in the human body.   It is now possible to inject these along\nwith a microchip brain into a body and direct them to do your bidding via a computer.  Obviously, we are still in the early stages,\nbut the test subjects used have responded well. \nIt\u2019s a probability we could use these nano bots to make an individual\nvomit after they have taken in a certain number of calories.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A combined groan was heard in the\nchamber.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The ex-lecturer went on \u201cThe test\nsubjects have concurred that after this has happened three or four times, they\nall seem to go off eating so much and started to lose weight.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow do the nano bots know how many\ncalories they have consumed is too much\u201d a very concerned Lord butted in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe can set that on the computer,\nsay the average man usually consumes 2500 calories a day, we can reduce that to\n1800, anything higher than that the non bots get to work so to speak.  A reduced amount can be set for the ladies\nand children of course.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you think the public will\nobject to this, having foreign objects in their bodies?\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWould they have to actually know\nLord Charles?  The microchips could be\ndisguised as an identity chip.  Knowing\npeoples dislike of immigrants at the moment, I am sure you will have them baying\nat the door for the implants, they would have proof that they are British to\nthe core.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSeems a very good solution, could\ntake the strain of the NHS come and see me after the meeting\u201d said Lord Charles\nwho was wondering if he could volunteer his wife as a test subject.  \u201cI think we will leave it as that for the\ntime being, all reports to be in by midday tomorrow, we will leave the problem\nof the baby boom at the moment, as at least they will grow up and pay their\ntaxes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Lord Charles was driven back to\nhis country residence by his chauffeur , he reflected on the day\u2019s meeting and\nto what kind of future the SOP party was giving its voters.  They can\u2019t complain too much, it\u2019s what they\nasked for after all, he thought.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It had been a tough one, but the \u2018Support Our People\u2019 party (SOP) had just squeezed through.\u00a0 The gamble of promising what the people wanted was a brave manifesto, and now they had to come up with the goods. It was a week later that they actually got down to any business, it had taken […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[121,202],"tags":[200,201],"class_list":["post-376","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-121","category-other-short-stories","tag-election","tag-promise"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-64","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=376"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":378,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/376\/revisions\/378"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=376"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=376"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=376"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}