The pub door opened and a large figure, like a swollen keg of ale, rolled into the premises. Another equally rotund chap was at his heels. The first one, Huw \u2018Jars\u2019 Scanlan, spilt himself into the largest chair in the bar, the second, Hugh \u2018Janus\u2019 O\u2019 Keefe, purchased two pints of stout. He carried them across to the table with the reverence of a court servant carrying an embroidered cushion for a monarch. The cream crowns atop the beer maintained unruffled dignity during their journey.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\u2018I\u2019m considering going for the cloth,\u2019 O\u2019 Keefe said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The table\u2019s clean sure.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018The priesthood, Jars, I\u2019m wrestling with the idea.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Haven\u2019t you been wrestling with high-flown notions since childhood? If ever a philosopher emerged from a cradle, `twas yourself.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018I believe God is calling me.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018That\u2019d be the bar. I\u2019ll get you another pint. It\u2019ll take away that sinful thought.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018What sinful\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018God and yourself. The very<\/em> idea!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019m twenty-five, Jars, a base civil servant. An image of decades of dull employment nags me daily.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018A priest? Mmm, interesting. How\u2019s about a spot of role play around that topic? Would you hear my confession, Father O\u2019 Keefe?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Wha-at?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Bless me father, `tis two weeks since my last confession. I\u2019m guilty of the sin of envy.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Who or what have you envied, my son?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ve a friend who has all I haven\u2019t: government job for life, pension, regular income, perks, and a rake of lazy workdays.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Have you discussed your sin with your friend?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018The amad\u00e1n envies me<\/em>. My call centre only use me when they\u2019re desperate, so I\u2019m broke. But doesn\u2019t your man think I\u2019m as free as the birds.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018The concept of envy, my son, is mighty interesting philosophically. Do you know what Plato said about it?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018This isn\u2019t working, Janus! Why don\u2019t I <\/em>be the priest?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019m just getting the hang of it!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I can\u2019t play a penitent. And you\u2019re <\/em>the man is full of guilt. Reverse roles!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018O-K. Bless me Father Scanlan. I\u2019m full of self-pity. Is that a venal or a mortal sin, father?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018It depends on the severity. Have you neglected others while wrapped up in yourself?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I don\u2019t think so.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Have you failed to buy your round in the pub?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Never.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Failed to pay attention, wreathed in your own misery, when your best friend tells you about his<\/em> woes?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018My friends are important to me.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You\u2019ve good Christian values so. God\u2019ll give you bonus points for your charitable concern for others.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018He will? Grand!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Say one Hail Mary, my son, pray for me, and leave here without a stain on your soul.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Thank you, father.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Sorted! If that call centre gets too awful, I\u2019m for retraining as a priest.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018What about me, Jars?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018One solution at a time, myself first.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019m<\/em> still in limbo.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018But in a state of grace.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018And my bitch of a job?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Keep praying to the lord. He\u2019ll answer.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018He will? Well\u2026 thank you, father.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Bless you my son. Pint?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018With a whiskey chaser.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The pub door opened and a large figure, like a swollen keg of ale, rolled into the premises. Another equally rotund chap was at his heels. The first one, Huw \u2018Jars\u2019 Scanlan, spilt himself into the largest chair in the bar, the second, Hugh \u2018Janus\u2019 O\u2019 Keefe, purchased two pints of stout. 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