09\/04\/2012<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Mildred Addams is an eyesore! Did her mum marry a gorilla? She\u2019s a girl from school, built with the size and dimensions of a stone boulder, so shave her head and plonk her outside a nightclub and you\u2019ve got yourself a bouncer. I swear if I pull down her knickers I\u2019ll see her willy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, come lunchtime, whilst me and my girlfriends are hanging out by the picnic tables, she\u2019ll be there, eating by herself, her miserable stink putting me right off my lunch. Delia tells me to ignore her but I\u2019m going to give it to golem girl someday.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
11\/04\/2012<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yeah, I did it, I told Mildred what I thought of her. I said that jeez was she ever ugly and how it\u2019s not just my opinion, everyone in school sees her as a gross blemish. I then asked her plainly could she please not sit near us at lunch anymore. If anything, she\u2019s being selfish by polluting our line of sight. Cruel of me? Maybe but I\u2019m just telling it like it is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
12\/04\/2012<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Low and behold, Mildred\u2019s stopped mooching around the picnic tables and I couldn\u2019t be happier.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
15\/04\/2012<\/p>\n\n\n\n
God, I couldn\u2019t help myself today, I saw Mildred enter the toilet stall next to mine and I had a naughty idea. I peed into my cupped hands and as Mildred sat down, I leapt up on my seat and flung nice warm pee all over her! I was laughing so hard as she spluttered like the retard she is. Sure, I\u2019m a prankster but can you blame me? It\u2019s disgusting how nice all the grown-ups are to Mildred, trying to help her \u201ccome out of her shell\u201d and \u201crealize her full potential\u201d when in fact, she\u2019s just an idiot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
All in all, Mildred Addams is better off sterilized before she contaminates the next gen\u2019s gene pool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
07\/04\/2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Today at work for some reason, the talk about what we were like at school came up. Jody swore she spent most of sixth form stoned out the bejesus and Gerald, blandest man alive, showed us a photo of his edgy goth phase. As for me? Well, despite everyone else almost bragging about being fucked up as teens, I at least was a decent kid. Everyone\u2019s friend, kind, caring, thoughtful and never had a bad word for anyone. Is it vain of me to think this? I wouldn\u2019t say so, I\u2019m just being honest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But Mildred (whom I\u2019ve mentally dubbed gorilla girl) coughed and said I wasn\u2019t that nice. She insisted I went to school with her, but she must have made no impression on me because I can\u2019t recall her at all.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
09\/04\/2012 Mildred Addams is an eyesore! Did her mum marry a gorilla? She\u2019s a girl from school, built with the size and dimensions of a stone boulder, so shave her head and plonk her outside a nightclub and you\u2019ve got yourself a bouncer. I swear if I pull down her knickers I\u2019ll see her willy. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1792,1853],"tags":[1856,114,1006,1085,7,145,116,13,1855,12,986,14,651],"class_list":["post-2669","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1792","category-april-2026-vanity","tag-addams","tag-but","tag-did","tag-girl","tag-her","tag-just","tag-like","tag-me","tag-mildred","tag-my","tag-school","tag-she","tag-so"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-H3","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2669","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2669"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2669\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2670,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2669\/revisions\/2670"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2669"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2669"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2669"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}