\u2018Get your coat on. We\u2019re off to Tescos.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Are they still open?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Twenty four seven.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Tescos you say\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No food in the house, I\u2019ve this broken wrist, you\u2019re driving me.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\u2018Prefer the Coop myself. Some bloody good deals there at the moment.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Coop\u2019s twenty mile away, Doug.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Give me a calculator, let me divide the cost of forty miles of petrol by the percentage savings per item, going to Coop\u2019ll come out cheaper.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018They close at six. It\u2019s now six thirty. Tescos it is.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Tescos\u2026? Hey a brilliant comedy on television tonight. It\u2019ll have you sniggering like a drunken carp. I\u2019ll call into Tescos straight after work tomorrow. How\u2019s that suit Madam?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Twenty fours without eating?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018There\u2019s nothing<\/em> in the house to eat?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Look. Empty fridge, larder uncolonized by food. And my wrist: no drivees for a week.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018OK. I\u2019ll drive you there. But I\u2019m sitting outside in the car.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018And I push the trolley around one-handed?\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You can manage one-handed, Ange, if you don\u2019t overfill the trolley. A money-saving idea! By me sitting in the car, we economise?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You\u2019d let your crippled wife push a trolley so you can chill in the car? Is there something in Tescos you want to avoid? Or\u2026 somebody<\/em>? Speak up!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Look\u2026 I\u2026 yes there\u2019s somebody. It\u2019s not<\/em> a woman.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018That\u2019s a change.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018The\u2026 uh\u2026 manager there. I scratched his car. Accidentally. The<\/p>\n\n\n\n other day. Like a knife wound on his door. A slash a mile long. Possibly more. Then instead of leaving my name, I panicked. Buggered off. But\u2026 I think he recognised me. That\u2019s why I can\u2019t\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018What a story! Do you know who works at Tescos evenings? Deirdre Weller.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Old \u201cyou\u2019re well in with Weller\u201d.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018No!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Half the town\u2019s had her in their back seat.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I haven\u2019t. Nor the front seat either.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Give me the car keys.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Here. Hey, what are you\u2026? You\u2019ve thrown them out the window!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018No car for work tomorrow. No food in the house. Time on our hands. Shall we<\/p>\n\n\n\n talk about Ms Weller?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Look\u2026 they\u2019ve banned me. Tescos. I\u2019m not allowed in there.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Why not?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018A\u2026 mix-up. At the till.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018What till? What mix-up? I\u2019m starting to get a nasty feeling in my gut.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018A misunderstanding, that\u2019s all.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018A very<\/em> nasty feeling.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Would you please listen to me!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You\u2019re at the till. Like you were at that till before we married\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018No no\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018When you\u2019re hand mysteriously entered it, and you were scooping up notes.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018A rush of blood. I told that twat of a magistrate that.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018And this time? What happened? Tell me please, Doug. I\u2026 won\u2019t be angry.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Happened? Uh\u2026 history repeats.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You tosser! You utter\u2026! I married a serial tea-leaf!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Ange! Where are you…?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Calling a taxi, then back to my mother\u2019s. Just like I did five years ago!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Think of our future\u2026 think of the dog\u2026 think of\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Exactly the same words as last time!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Ange!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Try Deirdre Weller. She gives Club Card points with her canoodling!<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Ange! Come back\u2026!\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u2018Get your coat on. We\u2019re off to Tescos.\u2019 \u2018Are they still open?\u2019 \u2018Twenty four seven.\u2019 \u2018Tescos you say\u2026?\u2019 No food in the house, I\u2019ve this broken wrist, you\u2019re driving me.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"no","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[{"account":"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211","service":"facebook","timestamp":1771430249,"status":"success"},{"account":"twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305","service":"twitter","timestamp":1771430249,"status":"error"}],"rop_publish_now_status":"done","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1792,1815],"tags":[1829,1830,1103,445,119,13,148,1350,568,1828,191,118,776,969,72],"class_list":["post-2627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1792","category-the-gift","tag-car","tag-coop","tag-food","tag-house","tag-ll","tag-me","tag-no","tag-off","tag-re","tag-tescos","tag-there","tag-they","tag-trolley","tag-twenty","tag-your"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-Gn","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2627","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2627"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2627\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2628,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2627\/revisions\/2628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2627"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2627"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2627"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}