The rain was falling hard on the esplanade. The view from the apartment of sea and beach was obscured by mist.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018How is he?\u2019 Karen asked her mother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018He\u2019s been in a temper since we moved here. Now he\u2019s bitter as well.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Bitter with you?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018With me, himself, everything.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Doesn\u2019t he have any interests apart from\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\u2018He\u2019s spent his life in a box marked career<\/em>. Now he\u2019s out of it, he doesn\u2019t know what to do and he\u2019s angry.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Can\u2019t you\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ve tried! All my life I\u2019ve tried. I\u2019ve waited on him, made myself into different shapes to please him, and I can\u2019t do it any more. I\u2019m a state pensioner officially as of today. I want to live, Karen.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Of course. And it seems a nice place to retire to.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018The summer\u2019s OK, heaving with visitors. But then \u2013 autumn, look at it \u2013 holidaymakers gone, just mirk and rain.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Not much to do?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Every supermarket shopper\u2019s trolley\u2019s full of booze. It helps with the melancholy.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Aren\u2019t there others of your age about?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018There\u2019re loads like us. They come here to recapture the pleasures of their youth. But all they discover is emptiness. But I go out, Age UK activities. I\u2019ve not given up.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Good for you. Where is he?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Where do you think?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018The slot machine shop?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Adult gaming centres, they call themselves.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018It\u2019s your birthday for god\u2019s sake!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018He started going to kill time. Too much spare time in this place, you think too much. Thinking brings on regret.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Is he addicted?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Maybe.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018How much does he\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Anything he can get his hands on. Most of my money\u2019s gone. He raids my purse.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018Oh Mum that\u2019s\u2026! But you get a state pension from today, right?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ll have to guard that around the clock. If he sees a chance, it\u2019ll be gone too.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I can\u2019t believe he\u2019s doing this. It\u2019s shameful.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Karen\u2019s mobile pinged. She checked the text and said, \u2018It\u2019s Maisie. She wants me to pick her up after school.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018You go.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019m really sorry.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ll be fine.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u2018I\u2019ll come back soon. You\u2019ve settled in and it\u2019s lovely to\u2026 I\u2019ll visit again pronto. Talk\u2026 we need to talk to dad and\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n She planted a kiss on her mother\u2019s cheek and was gone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her mother felt the letter from the surgery in her pocket. She\u2019d wanted to speak to Karen before phoning the doctor, was steeling herself to do it when Maisie\u2019s message arrived. The truth was she in a bit of shock and didn\u2019t know what to say. She read the couple of sentences once more: recent pancreatic cancer tests\u2026 results are in\u2026 telephone us urgently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The rain was heavy now. Everybody was indoors, finding ways to occupy themselves. \u2018I want to live,\u2019 she said, \u2018live for me<\/em>. Is that so selfish?\u2019 She hesitated then picked up her phone. What if she\u2019d left it too late? What if it was cancer and it would stop her belated desire to be happy?<\/p>\n\n\n\n She pressed the surgery number.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" The rain was falling hard on the esplanade. The view from the apartment of sea and beach was obscured by mist. \u2018How is he?\u2019 Karen asked her mother. \u2018He\u2019s been in a temper since we moved here. Now he\u2019s bitter as well.\u2019 \u2018Bitter with you?\u2019 \u2018With me, himself, everything.\u2019 \u2018Doesn\u2019t he have any interests apart […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1490,1729],"tags":[114,124,255,8,7,161,29,1737,766,12,1508,118,742,632,11],"class_list":["post-2538","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1490","category-good-life","tag-but","tag-do","tag-gone","tag-he","tag-her","tag-here","tag-how","tag-karen","tag-much","tag-my","tag-rain","tag-they","tag-too","tag-ve","tag-was"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-EW","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2538","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2538"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2538\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2539,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2538\/revisions\/2539"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2538"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2538"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2538"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}