Brandon never wanted to be there, but Josh assured him the old man was loaded. The moment the lock clicked open, his eyes narrowed and he whispered, \u201cThis is a mistake.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josh shushed him with a grin. \u201cBloody virgin.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He had experience, but it was served with a level of incompetence that made barristers choke. The large thumb marked \u201cTime served at HM Pleasure\u201d on the scales of his chaotic life bore solid testimony to that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPiece of cake. Easy compared to a real blag,\u201d he concluded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
The living room was cluttered with bric-a-brac and smelled of cabbage and ammonia. In one corner sat an antique bureau that screamed \u201cvaluables in here\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josh pointed. Brandon nodded and prised the lid with a screwdriver. With shaking hands, he rifled the drawers, while Josh hummed an Ed Sheeran tune, as if this was just another shift at Lidl.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No trumpets heralded their doom, just a shuffle of slippers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An old man stood in the doorway, wielding a skillet. \u201cOi! What d\u2019yer fink you\u2019re\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josh lunged, Brandon yelped, the old man swung, and in the tangle of limbs and panic, the man tripped backwards. His skull hit the coffee table with a sound like a dropped melon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The silence afterwards was unbearable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brandon whispered. \u201cHe\u2019s dead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNot if we don\u2019t say it,\u201d Josh said, his bravado crumbling like his Aunty Joan\u2019s apple pie. But it was already said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brandon fumbled for his phone. \u201cWe need an ambulance.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWant to serve time, yer daft twat?\u201d Josh hissed. \u201cWe clean up, take the body, and go.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, they tried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Under-sink bleach splashed, leaving a pale, sickly halo around a dark stain. They tried the vacuum. It clogged. They wrestled the body into a rug, but it slid free halfway, leaving a grotesque smear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt looks worse,\u201d Brandon gasped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIt\u2019s fine,\u201d Josh panted. \u201cWe just need\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The doorbell rang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
They froze.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Through the window: a neighbour, holding a Tupperware tub.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josh pasted on a sheepish grin and cracked the door. \u201cEvening! Just, err, house-sitting.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The neighbour leaned, peering past his shoulder. Brandon crouched desperately, throwing a blanket over the body, but the blood had already soaked through, blooming like roses across the fabric.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cEverything all right?\u201d the neighbour asked, voice tight.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPerfectly fine,\u201d Josh said too quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She frowned, eyes flicking once more to the floor. Pressing the Tupperware into Josh\u2019s hands, she backed away down the path. Moments later, the faint wail of sirens drifted closer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Brandon sank onto the sofa, head in his hands. \u201cWe should\u2019ve just legged it. First thing. Just gone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Josh stared at the stain spreading wider across the carpet, engulfing their clumsy attempts to erase it. The whole room seemed to tilt toward it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Blue lights flashed against the curtains, and the door burst open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He sighed, thinking of the riches he\u2019d dreamed of, and the gambling debts that clung like a monkey on his back. \u201cFuck me. This was supposed to be the easy way out.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Brandon never wanted to be there, but Josh assured him the old man was loaded. The moment the lock clicked open, his eyes narrowed and he whispered, \u201cThis is a mistake.\u201d Josh shushed him with a grin. \u201cBloody virgin.\u201d He had experience, but it was served with a level of incompetence that made barristers choke. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1490,1711],"tags":[1716,1715,114,1718,8,122,20,1714,145,31,902,1719,118,11,1717],"class_list":["post-2500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1490","category-sept-2025-the-easy-way-out","tag-blag","tag-brandon","tag-but","tag-grin","tag-he","tag-him","tag-his","tag-josh","tag-just","tag-man","tag-old","tag-served","tag-they","tag-was","tag-whispered"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-Ek","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2500","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2500"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2500\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2501,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2500\/revisions\/2501"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}