Orlando\u2019s\nCaf\u00e9 was a dreary downmarket affair, hardly Mr Barings\u2019 idea of a meeting spot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pimply\nyouths lazed idly behind the counter, a toothless black woman drowned in a\nmillion shopping bags and a blonde floozy hunched over her cup of coffee whilst\nher boy, one irritating snot nosed tyke waddled from aisle to aisle thumping\nanything with his fists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Worst, a\nlovey-dovey couple, shared a Sunday with a single spoon, breaking off from time\nto time for a quick peck on the lips or an ear splittingly giggle which made Barings\nlong for a shotgun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
\nSo Mr. Arthur Barings, aged fifty-eight, bald, stout, possessing an\nincreasingly arthritic body had been summoned to this hole, by his meek and\ntimid son. God knows what Nick meant by \u201cbeing true to one\u2019s self\u201d and since it\nwas the start of a new year, he had explained in the email that he had made a resolution\nto change his life for the better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Of course,\nof course Mr. Barings yawned and looking around, found that Nick was nowhere in\nsight. He checked his infernal mobile device, confirmed that yes, the time and\nlocation were correct, and honestly hadn\u2019t he beaten the virtue of punctuality into\nhis boy. Lateness was an unforgivable sin in his eyes. But texting back got a\nresponse from the lad saying that he was already there. Nick was in this dive\nand Mr Barings hadn\u2019t spotted him? Was he invisible, was he hiding?
\n
\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It was then\nMr. Barings cursed himself for making too many assumptions, for the couple he\nhad assumed were teenagers, on second examination (crow\u2019s feet, receding\nhairline) showed themselves to be the parents of the snotty tyke when the woman\ncalled out \u201cJeremy we\u2019re going now\u201d and the kid followed his parents out of the\ncaf\u00e9.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which left\nMr. Barings staring at the blonde tart with her back to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ah. Right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Now a memory\nlong repressed but always accompanied with a dab of guilt and self-loathing\nsurfaced in Mr. Barings\u2019 mind. Years ago, he had come home to find Nick\nstanding by the mirror in his parents\u2019 bedroom, wearing Mrs Barings\u2019 Sunday\nbest, his face smeared in makeup. Had Nick been a girl no doubt this would have\nbeen cute, but by god no boy of his was going to be a tranny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An argument\nensured, Nick was indignant saying if girls could wear boots and trousers why\ncouldn\u2019t boys wear dresses and Mr Barings had lost it. He could still hear the\nresounding smack as his large hairy hand whacked his eight-year-old son\u2019s face sending\na mouthful of blood onto the carpet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nick had\ncurled up into a weeping ball as Mr. Barings glumly awarded himself father of\nthe year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Back in the\npresent, the blonde woman rose from her table, breathed in heavily and spun\nround to face her father. Mr. Barings issued a \u201cJesus Wept!\u201d at the nauseating sight.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Orlando\u2019s Caf\u00e9 was a dreary downmarket affair, hardly Mr Barings\u2019 idea of a meeting spot. Pimply youths lazed idly behind the counter, a toothless black woman drowned in a million shopping bags and a blonde floozy hunched over her cup of coffee whilst her boy, one irritating snot nosed tyke waddled from aisle to aisle […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[121,120],"tags":[136,95,8,7,20,137,138,11,139],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-121","category-newyearresolutions","tag-barings","tag-had","tag-he","tag-her","tag-his","tag-mr","tag-nick","tag-was","tag-woman"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-42","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":251,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions\/251"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}