{"id":2157,"date":"2024-09-15T08:29:25","date_gmt":"2024-09-15T08:29:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2157"},"modified":"2024-09-15T08:29:31","modified_gmt":"2024-09-15T08:29:31","slug":"mah-sweet-little-lady-precious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/mah-sweet-little-lady-precious\/2157\/","title":{"rendered":"Mah Sweet Little Lady, Precious"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Prize<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Well now, ya feeling alright hon?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gotta say ya done give me a scare, not often that my fellas go under like that, thought I was goanna lose ya.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now I\u2019d best tell you what I is, I is a hog farmer, and this here is my prize-winning hog, Precious. What can I say sweet cheeks, this little lady sure is precious to me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Ya don\u2019t get ta be first place on the state fair for three years running without a little help. Precious\u2019s secret weapon is her diet. Most farmers are content ta fed their hogs lotsa crap. Rotten apples from the orchard, stuff expired from the refrigerator, shit that\u2019ll give ya a stomach-ache for twenty Sundays.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nah, nah we here on our humble little farm, feed Precious only the finest food, freshest apples, cleanest flower and of course the best meat out there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, yer starting to understand ain\u2019t ya? No, I don\u2019t go feeding my favourite girl beef or pork or chicken or nothing. Precious deserves the best, and this is a what ya call it, irony that a pig makes do with man flesh<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bingo hon! Ya ain\u2019t leaving this place alive. It\u2019s kinda funny when ya think about it. Ya joined me here hoping for some rough and tumble and don\u2019t get me wrong I was flattered when ya called me purty and all, it\u2019s just now ya goanna be spending some intimate time with Precious instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya want me to slit ya throat? Honey, Precious demands her meat be as rare as rubies and I aim to please. Besides look at it this way. Life is short and precious, and hell isn\u2019t death too?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ya only die one time and passing away in ya sleep is boring but something slow and painful can be\u2026well it ain\u2019t something ya\u2019ll forget in a hurry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Precious here can tear flesh from bone like paper and chomp on bone as if it were butter. The cops can\u2019t pin it on us cause there won\u2019t be nothing left of ya once she\u2019s done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Honey, honey, relax, holler all ya want but nobody\u2019s goanna hear ya. My advice is make ya peace with the Big Man cause you\u2019ll be meeting Him soon enough, and really boy, think of this as an experience. Ya goanna see a hog munch on your feet, sure it\u2019ll hurt like hell but goddamn it\u2019ll be memorable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, sit back, relax and thank us for making yor time on God\u2019s green earth end with a bang.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You two have fun now, cause Precious is mighty hungry. Ain\u2019t ya mah sweet little lady.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Well now, ya feeling alright hon? I gotta say ya done give me a scare, not often that my fellas go under like that, thought I was goanna lose ya. Now I\u2019d best tell you what I is, I is a hog farmer, and this here is my prize-winning hog, Precious. What can I say […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"yes","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1129,1384],"tags":[1386,511,155,161,1387,1144,63,13,12,816,1383,698,71,159,1385],"class_list":["post-2157","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1129","category-sept-2024-precious","tag-ain","tag-best","tag-don","tag-here","tag-hon","tag-lady","tag-little","tag-me","tag-my","tag-now","tag-precious","tag-sweet","tag-well","tag-what","tag-ya"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-yN","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2157","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2157"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2157\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2159,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2157\/revisions\/2159"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2157"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2157"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2157"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}