{"id":2107,"date":"2024-07-18T08:42:13","date_gmt":"2024-07-18T08:42:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2107"},"modified":"2024-07-18T08:42:18","modified_gmt":"2024-07-18T08:42:18","slug":"proud-to-be-a-philistine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/proud-to-be-a-philistine\/2107\/","title":{"rendered":"Proud to be a Philistine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Sharone did not \u201cget\u201d art.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To her, if a painting looked like a photo, then it was alright but when it came to terms like \u201ccolour theory,\u201d \u201clayout\u201d and how the image \u201cspoke,\u201d she could feel the tumbleweed roll across her empty brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At highbrow art galleries, she would nod at the sight of melting clocks and say \u201cHmm, that\u2019s interesting innit?\u201d but couldn\u2019t pretend it meant anything to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tony though had aspirations of taste, speaking freely of the artist\u2019s soul. When it came to purchasing a print to hang on the living room wall, he\u2019d spend hours online agonizing over which one to pick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust get one of a dolphin or tiger or someup, they\u2019re cool,\u201d Sharone would say but Tony countered with \u201cNo, no love, it\u2019s gotta matter. Can\u2019t you tell a great painter from a crummy one? Vermeer knew what he was about, Hitler tried painting and his stuff\u2019s shite.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Vermeer?\u201d Sharone frowned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tony made a point of dragging Sharone to the Tate Modern, which he explained wasn\u2019t full of fancy oil paintings, but something called Modern Art. Sharone who thought those old school pictures were at least kinda pretty was now out in the ocean at the stuff on display.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pyramid made out of plastic turds; a collection of rusty washers aligned into a peace symbol were pretty typical fare. There was even a film, complete with psychedelic music, showing a woman on her period standing waist deep in a lake, with the camera intensely focused on her bleeding fanny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oooo lovely!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat does it all mean?\u201d Sharone whined to Tony \u201cI could just stare at a blank wall for an hour and a half, and it\u2019d be just as fun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNah, nah, trust me woman. It\u2019s an acquired taste.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow long does it take to acquire a taste? When I do, will this finally stop being complete shite?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Tony pottered off, cooing over a tower made from flickering TVs, Sharone recalled one of his treasured anecdotes, how the great Marc Quinn, an artist Tony much admired, managed to sell a head shaped ice lolly made from his own blood for \u00a3300,000.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hell, why not give someup like that a go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wondering around from room to room, Sharone soon found an empty wooden pedestal, standing ignored in a corner. So, fishing out a wad of used tissues and two maxi pads from her handbag, she flung them atop the pedestal, before writing at the base with a tube of lipstick \u201cFor sale: A million quid\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t long before a few airy fellows, college students by the looks of it, came and examined her little display, giving thoughtful remarks like \u201cIt\u2019s not worth a million, although one can appreciate the struggle of menstruation, how getting one\u2019s period can be as burdensome as the common cold. A dilemma many may fail to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Sharone groaned again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sharone did not \u201cget\u201d art.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

To her, if a painting looked like a photo, then it was alright but when it came to terms like \u201ccolour theory,\u201d \u201clayout\u201d and how the image \u201cspoke,\u201d she could feel the tumbleweed roll across her empty brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At highbrow art galleries, she would nod at the sight of melting clocks and say \u201cHmm, that\u2019s interesting innit?\u201d but couldn\u2019t pretend it meant anything to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tony though had aspirations of taste, speaking freely of the artist\u2019s soul. When it came to purchasing a print to hang on the living room wall, he\u2019d spend hours online agonizing over which one to pick.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust get one of a dolphin or tiger or someup, they\u2019re cool,\u201d Sharone would say but Tony countered with \u201cNo, no love, it\u2019s gotta matter. Can\u2019t you tell a great painter from a crummy one? Vermeer knew what he was about, Hitler tried painting and his stuff\u2019s shite.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWho\u2019s Vermeer?\u201d Sharone frowned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tony made a point of dragging Sharone to the Tate Modern, which he explained wasn\u2019t full of fancy oil paintings, but something called Modern Art. Sharone who thought those old school pictures were at least kinda pretty was now out in the ocean at the stuff on display.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A pyramid made out of plastic turds; a collection of rusty washers aligned into a peace symbol were pretty typical fare. There was even a film, complete with psychedelic music, showing a woman on her period standing waist deep in a lake, with the camera intensely focused on her bleeding fanny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oooo lovely!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat does it all mean?\u201d Sharone whined to Tony \u201cI could just stare at a blank wall for an hour and a half, and it\u2019d be just as fun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNah, nah, trust me woman. It\u2019s an acquired taste.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow long does it take to acquire a taste? When I do, will this finally stop being complete shite?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As Tony pottered off, cooing over a tower made from flickering TVs, Sharone recalled one of his treasured anecdotes, how the great Marc Quinn, an artist Tony much admired, managed to sell a head shaped ice lolly made from his own blood for \u00a3300,000.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hell, why not give someup like that a go?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wondering around from room to room, Sharone soon found an empty wooden pedestal, standing ignored in a corner. So, fishing out a wad of used tissues and two maxi pads from her handbag, she flung them atop the pedestal, before writing at the base with a tube of lipstick \u201cFor sale: A million quid\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t long before a few airy fellows, college students by the looks of it, came and examined her little display, giving thoughtful remarks like \u201cIt\u2019s not worth a million, although one can appreciate the struggle of menstruation, how getting one\u2019s period can be as burdensome as the common cold. A dilemma many may fail to understand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And Sharone groaned again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sharone did not \u201cget\u201d art. To her, if a painting looked like a photo, then it was alright but when it came to terms like \u201ccolour theory,\u201d \u201clayout\u201d and how the image \u201cspoke,\u201d she could feel the tumbleweed roll across her empty brain. At highbrow art galleries, she would nod at the sight of melting […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"yes","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1129,1327],"tags":[1333,114,192,991,8,7,145,116,32,993,1331,1334,1332,11,172],"class_list":["post-2107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1129","category-july-2024-for-sale","tag-art","tag-but","tag-came","tag-get","tag-he","tag-her","tag-just","tag-like","tag-made","tag-painting","tag-sharone","tag-taste","tag-tony","tag-was","tag-when"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-xZ","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2107"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2107\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2109,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2107\/revisions\/2109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}