{"id":2104,"date":"2024-07-17T17:36:28","date_gmt":"2024-07-17T17:36:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2104"},"modified":"2024-07-17T17:36:32","modified_gmt":"2024-07-17T17:36:32","slug":"ooops-i-did-it-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/ooops-i-did-it-again\/2104\/","title":{"rendered":"OOOPS. I \u00a0DID IT AGAIN"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"Wife<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Avril Morgan, a slender woman with a handsome face, opened her front door in anticipation of her little totem pole. She was greeted by a man dragging a large coffin-shaped tree trunk up the garden path  Her jaw fell, it was supposed to be six inches, not six foot<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Huffing and puffing the red-faced driver arrived, delivery sheet in hand, thrusting it in her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“There must be some kind of mistake,” Avril’s voice quavered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No mistake and I’m not taking it back; sign here. “<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After she signed on the dotted line, the driver made a quick exit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What the heck do I do with it now. Adrian is going to go mad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

He always scolded her for buying things online, but he didn’t know the half of it. There were boxes hidden away in the garage and every nook and cranny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

With that thought, Adrian emerged at the top of the path stopping dead in his tracks, looking confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“What the hell is this Avril?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“It was supposed to be six inches,\u201d she sobbed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Nonplussed, they stared at each other<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Right, open the garage door, Avril; it will have to go in there.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“NO we can put it around the back wall of the garage,” pleaded Avril.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stalking past her, Adrian pulled up the door up. Cringing Avril couldn’t look.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”WHAT!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust a few things I’ve bought over the years.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He opened box after box. There were six picnic tables, an enormous chandelier, five large paintings, a cat exercise wheel.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Chandelier ??’<\/p>\n\n\n\n

‘I thought it would look lovely on the landing.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adrian snorted in disbelief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“A CAT WHEEL!! You’re allergic to cat and dog fur.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”Was going to put it in the garden so I could watch the neighbourhood cats playing, it was just a lot bigger than I thought.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As he worked his way to the back, there were more weird things. Emerging, he shook his head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

”For goodness sake, you could furnish a house with that lot. Is it all there is?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unable to look at him in the face, she nodded and lead him into the house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For the next hour, he looked through box after box, exasperated he could only shake his head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a tense evening, Avril disappeared to the bedroom, worrying about her little treasures .<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Adrian took the ball by the horns, starting to make a list of the items, dividing them into categories.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Antique Shops <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Auction House<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On-Line<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Charity Shops<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Garage Sale<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Finally when his sense of humour emerged, he set about making a large placard and attaching it to the gate post.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

FOR SALE ONE WIFE. HAS A SQUIRREL PROBLEM. ANY REASONABLE OFFERS CONSIDERED<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

He always scolded her for buying things online, but he didn’t know the half of it. There were boxes hidden away in the garage and every nook and cranny.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"yes","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1129,1327],"tags":[1329,1328,302,236,1330,8,7,14,62,191,127,74,11,591,159],"class_list":["post-2104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1129","category-july-2024-for-sale","tag-adrian","tag-avril","tag-back","tag-door","tag-garage","tag-he","tag-her","tag-she","tag-six","tag-there","tag-things","tag-up","tag-was","tag-were","tag-what"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-xW","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2104"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2106,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2104\/revisions\/2106"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2104"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2104"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2104"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}