{"id":2045,"date":"2024-05-23T18:17:07","date_gmt":"2024-05-23T18:17:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2045"},"modified":"2024-05-23T18:17:12","modified_gmt":"2024-05-23T18:17:12","slug":"two-big-lads","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/two-big-lads\/2045\/","title":{"rendered":"Two Big Lads"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The two big lads squeezed into groaning chairs in the snug. Regulars compared the pair to two large teddy bears in a broom cupboard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018A couple of babes on the go; how did I get myself into this mess? \u2019 McDonagh said, palming sweat from his pale forehead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            O\u2019 Shaughnessy took his first slurp of Murphys which formed a cream ring around his mouth and said, \u2018There are worse problems.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

            \u2018I\u2019m sinking, so I am.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Monday Mary, Tuesday Theresa, Wednesday Mary again?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Both of them are wanting to get serious. What do I do, Jack?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Have you a preference?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018I\u2019m nineteen, brought up to believe I can have whatever I want. And now I\u2019ve got more than I can handle.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018A preference, Tony?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Neither! I can\u2019t do serious. <\/em>At nineteen? Come back in ten years, maybe I\u2019ll be ready to commit. I\u2019m a bairn in arms.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Just tell them that. Level with them.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018It\u2019s complicated.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018You can\u2019t tell them or you don\u2019t want to?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Texts from them, like a buzz of hornets, day and night. I\u2019m cracking under the strain of my duplicitous folly.\u2019 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Text one of them and tell her you\u2019ve died.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Aren\u2019t they both with the bank\u2019s head office in town. One or the other rings me everyday in Bray about some spurious customer business<\/em>. They\u2019re nice girls. I can\u2019t be cruel to them.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018There was a young man from Bray, whose only hope was to pray.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018I need an escape plan. Something written on the parchment of human kindness with the nib of empathy.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Tell them you\u2019re for the priesthood.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018While continuing to work at the bank?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Discuss your employment worries with human resources.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018They\u2019ll fire me.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Come out as gay.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Do you think they\u2019d fall for that?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Join my brother for a few evenings in the gay haunts of Temple Bar. He\u2019ll be grand about having a straight fellow alongside.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018How will that\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Bray\u2019s a small town. The word will percolate out from Dublin.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Desperate times, desperate measures.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\/<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018The pair of them have stopped ringing.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Grand.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018So kind to me the pair of them were. Both said they were proud I\u2019d found my real self<\/em>.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Sweet women.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018You were right. One night down Temple Bar and the next morning at work, I was the talk of the bank.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018I gave the boat a bit of a steer.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018How so?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018I rang your head office. Left my number for Mary and Theresa in my capacity as Tony McDonagh\u2019s best pal<\/em>.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Whatever you said, you\u2019ve steered me out of deep water. Another decade of adolescence for yours truly. What did <\/em>you say?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018I told each one what an immature eejit you were and that any man worth his salt would be in thrall to them. They\u2019ve asked to meet me.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018You mean\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Mary on Monday, Theresa on Tuesday. Strictly platonic. On the other hand I don\u2019t see my adolescence lasting till I\u2019m thirty.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018Twenty nine?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

            \u2018I\u2019ll give it a week.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The two big lads squeezed into groaning chairs in the snug. Regulars compared the pair to two large teddy bears in a broom cupboard.             \u2018A couple of babes on the go; how did I get myself into this mess? \u2019 McDonagh said, palming sweat from his pale forehead.             O\u2019 Shaughnessy took his first […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1129,1266],"tags":[46,1288,755],"class_list":["post-2045","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1129","category-may-2024-escape","tag-big","tag-lads","tag-two"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-wZ","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2045"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2047,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2045\/revisions\/2047"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2045"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2045"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2045"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}