{"id":2001,"date":"2024-04-16T12:37:51","date_gmt":"2024-04-16T12:37:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2001"},"modified":"2024-04-16T12:37:58","modified_gmt":"2024-04-16T12:37:58","slug":"degrees-of-ruin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/degrees-of-ruin\/2001\/","title":{"rendered":"Degrees of Ruin"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It isn\u2019t hard to ruin the life of a thirteen year old. I seem to do it all the time. Take yesterday:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Mum, you are ruining my life. Everybody has an iPhone. You need it to look things up in class and to talk to people. I\u2019m completely humiliated without one. Who  knows  what people are saying about me?…\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I accept that your life is in tatters, and I\u2019m sorry for you. But in 20 years you will come and find me, throw your arms around my neck, and \u00a0thank me. You will be able to think without the help of influencers and you will not have a repeating backdrop of porn movies and pile-ons to spoil your dreams.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Poor Suki. Poor me. Poor everyone whose life is ruined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suki and me met after school next day to get our eyes tested \u2013 both of us could pass the medical for becoming fighter pilots but you need to keep on top of these things \u2013 dentists, opticians, parents evenings and other kinds of physical and moral scrutiny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We took a short way to miss crowds and phone outlets. A few people and their dogs were sitting around hopefully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Can we give them a bit of cash?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018 No it\u2019s against the rules. Because people think that if you give poor people money they\u2019ll waste it on drugs, booze or fags which would be bad for them. So the decent amongst them nip round the corner to Greggs and buy them Coke and sausage rolls which are good for them.  It\u2019s the dogs I feel sorry for, they get the middle bit of the sausage roll which is sometimes plant-based.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Music for this kind of context is playing in my  head \u2013 the clarinet solo that starts Rhapsody in Blue and slides up its minor scale, torturing the life out of the notes : gut-wrenching squalor, sleaze, emotional pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suki is curious:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Why do people have to live on the streets?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Bad relationships, no money, mental health problems, two tours in Afghanistan, all sorts of reasons\u2019.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I spot a morose-looking and dogless young woman and calculate a balance between what could make a difference to her and what I can afford. I surreptitiously liberate 3 tenners from my bag and press them into her hand, mumbling, \u2018Get yourself something you need.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The phantom clarinet solo has merged with the orchestra which mutes its plaintive isolation. A problem shared maybe?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suki and I pass our  fighter pilot tests and go our separate ways:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I\u2019m going to see Dad. He\u2019ll understand about the iPhone.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The only area of agreement between me and my ex is over iPhones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018OK love, have a good time and tell him\u2026.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tell him what?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018You ruined my life you miserable, cheating bastard?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018In 20 years I will find you and thank you\u2026?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018\u2026Tell him I hope he\u2019s well.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For perspective: a little ruination is bearable, whereas too much can force your dog onto a diet of vegan sausage rolls.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I spot a morose-looking and dogless young woman and calculate a balance between what could make a difference to her and what I can afford. I surreptitiously liberate 3 tenners from my bag and press them into her hand, mumbling, \u2018Get yourself something you need.\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1129,1202],"tags":[124,345,13,12,957,806,346,1201,1244,129,127,74,37,1245,72],"class_list":["post-2001","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-1129","category-april-2024-ruin","tag-do","tag-life","tag-me","tag-my","tag-need","tag-people","tag-poor","tag-ruin","tag-suki","tag-them","tag-things","tag-up","tag-will","tag-without","tag-your"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-wh","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2001","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2001"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2001\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2003,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2001\/revisions\/2003"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2001"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2001"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2001"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}