{"id":1607,"date":"2023-05-22T08:21:28","date_gmt":"2023-05-22T08:21:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1607"},"modified":"2023-05-22T08:21:33","modified_gmt":"2023-05-22T08:21:33","slug":"only-six-minutes-late","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/only-six-minutes-late\/1607\/","title":{"rendered":"Only six minutes late"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhere the hell <\/em>is he?\u201d growled Mike, as Lenny\u2019s phone pinged with a message.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s \u2018im, it\u2019s Dave,\u201d Lenny said, unlocking the screen. \u201cSays Be there in a minute, had another commitment to deal with<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnother BLOODY commitment?\u201d Mike yelled. \u201cWho\u2019s \u2018e fink \u2018e is?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cItchy,\u201d moaned Two. He\u2019d also been christened Dave, and the group didn\u2019t have much imagination.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, bloody shut up,\u201d Graham snapped. \u201cDon\u2019t you think we\u2019ve got better things to worry about than your sodding skincare regime at the moment?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut…\u201d Two continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut bloody nothing, just put up with it. If it \u2018elps at all, you look bleedin\u2019 gorgeous, arright?\u201d Mike said through gritted teeth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, what do we do while we wait then?\u201d Lenny asked. \u201cWe could go back inside, and…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo,\u201d Mike said firmly, \u201cNo we can\u2019t. And stop that, you wouldn\u2019t do it in front of your mother, would you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lenny sighed and moved his hand to scratch his arse instead. \u201cBut Deano\u2019s still in there, I can message him and…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDeano\u2019s a bloody idiot. Finks \u2018e\u2019s an \u2018ero for staying there, when all \u2018e is, is a bloody pillock.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI know, but…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLook, I need some time to fink, right? What \u2018appens if Dave don\u2019t turn up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHe always has in the past,\u201d said Lenny.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSooo itchy!\u201d groaned Two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSHUT UP!\u201d the other three chorused in union.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMaybe we could just saunter away,\u201d said Graham, \u201dyou know, like nuffin\u2019s \u2018appened. Those bags are \u2018eavy, and no one\u2019ll know it was us. Just leave the…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He trailed off as Mike shot him a death stare.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI said,\u201d Mike hissed, \u201cthat I need some finkin\u2019 time. That ain\u2019t goin\u2019 to work.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBut we could do it all natural like, walk off confidently like we\u2019re just four chaps out for an afternoon stroll and \u2018appened to…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMy cheeks are bein\u2019 rubbed raw,\u201d wailed Two.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFine, fine, whatever,\u201d Mike said, finally realising that he wasn\u2019t going to win that particular battle. \u201cTake it off, just don\u2019t blame me when fings go tits up for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two sighed gratefully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lenny\u2019s handset chimed \u201cBring Me Sunshine\u201d, and he answered with a single grunted \u201cYes?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A few moments later, he hung up and grinned at the others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2019E\u2019s just round the corner, be \u2018ere in five seconds… oh, there \u2018e is!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tyres screeched as a van rounded the street end going too fast, then pulled up alongside them. The window wound down and a happy face beamed out at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOnly six minutes late, boss!\u201d Dave grinned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mike stood up, about to let loose a stream of invective when a blue light strobed on the wall beside him, and two squad cars appeared at either end of the street.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Over a tannoy a voice boomed as armed officers flooded the street. \u201cYou lot wearing tights on your head, and the man with the rash on his face… put your weapons down. You\u2019re under arrest for armed robbery.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBugger,\u201d muttered Mike.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat\u2019s sooooo much better!\u201d sighed Two happily.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cWhere the hell is he?\u201d growled Mike, as Lenny\u2019s phone pinged with a message. \u201cIt\u2019s \u2018im, it\u2019s Dave,\u201d Lenny said, unlocking the screen. \u201cSays Be there in a minute, had another commitment to deal with.\u201d \u201cAnother BLOODY commitment?\u201d Mike yelled. \u201cWho\u2019s \u2018e fink \u2018e is?\u201d \u201cItchy,\u201d moaned Two. He\u2019d also been christened Dave, and the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[695,734],"tags":[754,114,756,124,155,8,145,753,208,148,9,191,755,74],"class_list":["post-1607","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-695","category-may-2023-commitment","tag-bloody","tag-but","tag-dave","tag-do","tag-don","tag-he","tag-just","tag-lenny","tag-mike","tag-no","tag-said","tag-there","tag-two","tag-up"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-pV","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1607"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1609,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1607\/revisions\/1609"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1607"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1607"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1607"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}