{"id":1591,"date":"2023-05-08T15:32:59","date_gmt":"2023-05-08T15:32:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1591"},"modified":"2023-05-08T15:33:04","modified_gmt":"2023-05-08T15:33:04","slug":"they-call-me-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/they-call-me-father\/1591\/","title":{"rendered":"They call me \u201cFather\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

They call me \u201cFather\u201d, for I am king of my own little world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why rule over these sheep? Isn\u2019t it obvious? Better to be rich than poor, better to be adored then despised. I\u2019ve robbed these fools blind, yet they still worship me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And this job comes with so many perks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I convinced a gullible girl to marry me, telling her: \u201cAn angel of the Lord proclaimed in a vision, that if you don\u2019t become my wife, then Heaven will send a curse to kill you and your entire family!\u201d and the weeping sixteen-year-old gave in, all because I was convincing enough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s power I can never give up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

How many wives do I have? Too many to count! Half of them were already married when I snatched them up, and anyway having my own personal harem gives me a thrill.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sure, I indulge. Popping pinks and greys before washing it all down with rum and then selecting which wives will join me in the hot tub is a typical night. By day I\u2019ll preach sermons of chastity, abstinence, and selflessness as I watch the guileless children, take my words to heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My short comings? Oh, I\u2019m a hoarder, forever collecting and at pains to part with anything. Perhaps you\u2019ve known people who hold onto books they\u2019ve not touched in decades and yet will go nuts if you ever so much ask if you can borrow one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That\u2019s true with me except my collection is people. Their bleating praise is delightful; their blind devotion is unbeatable.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why build a fortress in the middle of the jungle? Simple, it\u2019s harder to access, harder for friends and relatives to sneak in and steal their loved ones away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Escape? They have no jobs, no money. Getting back home from here is next to impossible. So, what else in this stinking pit can they do but praise me?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes they try to run but they\u2019re always caught and that\u2019s when the real fun begins.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have personally waterboarded boys no younger than ten, I\u2019ve whipped women in their eighties, and I\u2019ve watched, and enacted punishments usually given out in prison. You know about dropping the soap, don\u2019t you?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jesus, do I ever love being king of my own little world.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They call me \u201cFather\u201d, for I am king of my own little world. Why rule over these sheep? Isn\u2019t it obvious? Better to be rich than poor, better to be adored then despised. I\u2019ve robbed these fools blind, yet they still worship me. And this job comes with so many perks. I convinced a gullible […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[695,734],"tags":[735,642,13,118],"class_list":["post-1591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-695","category-may-2023-commitment","tag-call","tag-father","tag-me","tag-they"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-pF","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1591","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1591"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1591\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1593,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1591\/revisions\/1593"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1591"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1591"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1591"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}