{"id":1384,"date":"2022-10-16T19:36:33","date_gmt":"2022-10-16T19:36:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1384"},"modified":"2022-10-16T19:36:37","modified_gmt":"2022-10-16T19:36:37","slug":"the-advocate","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/the-advocate\/1384\/","title":{"rendered":"The Advocate"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The wind howls around the hospital towers. I squint through the rain, and for a moment the birds overhead look like tiny witches on broomsticks, swooping unpredictably in all directions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Meadowside Child and Adolescent Mental Health Unit,\u2019 a sign announces. Like everything else up here, it is wonky, madness seeping into any semblance of order.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I shudder. I need to get Emily out of here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Inside, they have tried to make the place look welcoming. Bright sofas form an arc around the reception area, but they look like a clown\u2019s smile, bleeding into the cracked skin of the walls.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The woman at the front desk stares bleakly at a couple. The man is carrying a bag with a teddy bear\u2019s head poking out between the handles.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I\u2019m sorry. You can\u2019t come in outside of visiting hours,\u2019 she\u2019s saying. \u2018I\u2019ll ask one of the nurses to bring it to her.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then the door beside the desk beeps open. A woman, one of said nurses I presume, breezes through, beaming so widely her eyes are squeezed shut.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018I\u2019m an advocate. Here to visit Emily!\u2019 I say, slipping through the door before it closes. No-one replies. No-one follows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know where to find her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two teenage boys are playing table tennis, limbs and elbows jerking awkwardly. The ping pong ball taps out a disjointed rhythm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And there she is in the corner, fidgeting as she flicks through a magazine, too fast to be reading it. She jumps when I call her name and looks up with startled eyes. The magazine falls to the floor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sitting beside her, I grip her hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Remember me, Emily?\u2019 Her hands are shaking. She looks down without answering.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018They\u2019re trying to convince you that you\u2019re ill again. We must get you out of here before they kill you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She\u2019s still staring silently at her feet, the toes of her fluffy socks curling inwards.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Here comes one of them now!\u2019 My panic rises as the man draws nearer. I can tell by the over-confident swagger that he\u2019s a psychiatrist. \u2018Quick! Grab a bat from one of those boys and whack him!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She snatches her hand away and screams.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The psychiatrist is here now. He pretends to be all soothing, speaking softly as he strokes her shoulder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018Don\u2019t touch her!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He leads her away, ignoring me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once we\u2019re seated in his office, Emily sobs, \u2018She\u2019s back.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t see her face because the psychiatrist is sitting between us. He has no right to shut me out. She\u2019s allowed an advocate! But before I can move around him, his arm shoots out towards his desk, blocking my path.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2018We need to up the meds,\u2019 he\u2019s saying, passing her something.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I nudge him. \u2018You can\u2019t increase the dose without\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I collapse, suddenly weak. I hear foil popping. The glug of water being swallowed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s my hands that fade first, curling into a tendril of smoke. The rest of me follows, until I am just one of the mad whispers in the air.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The wind howls around the hospital towers. I squint through the rain, and for a moment the birds overhead look like tiny witches on broomsticks, swooping unpredictably in all directions. \u2018Meadowside Child and Adolescent Mental Health Unit,\u2019 a sign announces. Like everything else up here, it is wonky, madness seeping into any semblance of order. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"rop_custom_images_group":[],"rop_custom_messages_group":[],"rop_publish_now":"initial","rop_publish_now_accounts":{"facebook_10158782359051062_103813597863211":"","twitter_1225722811282530305_1225722811282530305":""},"rop_publish_now_history":[],"rop_publish_now_status":"pending","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[379,597,676],"tags":[7,161,14],"class_list":["post-1384","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-379","category-597","category-oct-2022-the-visitor","tag-her","tag-here","tag-she"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pbrNJE-mk","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1384","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1384"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1384\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1386,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1384\/revisions\/1386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1384"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1384"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.swanseawriterscircle.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1384"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}