First year of college I had to endure Jerry Burns. He was your standard, entitled nice guy, forever moaning over his virginity and what an injustice it was that those heartless bitches wouldn’t date him.
I was unpersuaded to be his girlfriend, probably because in addition to being entitled and brimming with rage, he was also criminally boring; his only topic was himself.
Second year, I mercifully didn’t share a house with him, although he kept sending me drunken texts on how much he missed me, how hanging out with me was the best time of his life and what a stone-cold whore I was for ignoring him.
No matter how many times I blocked him, he kept setting up new accounts, leaving me stressed out and seriously considering calling the police, until unexpectedly the angry messages finally stopped.
And when I bumped into Jerry on campus, he looked different.
The arrogant sneer permanently affixed to his lips had vanished, the burning resentment in his eyes had flickered out and now he seemed lifeless, almost zombie like. On catching sight of me, he frowned then said “Oh, it’s you” before walking on.
Okay, what had happened?
I’d best back up and mention another college casual of mine, Jasper Jones. Life of the party, everybody’s friend and as far as we knew, completely harmless. Funny thing was Jasper had been in the habit of inviting drunken guys to his flat, guys who needed to charge their phones or call an uber if it was too cold or rainy to stand outside. Generous of Jasper to help them out, and to top it off, he’d pour them a drink whilst they waited. The drink however would be spiked with something nasty causing them to slip into unconsciousness. Which was when Jasper went to town, filming the whole thing on his phone.
On waking up the next morning, his victims assumed they had passed out drunk, oblivious over what actually happened.
Eventually though Jasper slipped up, got arrested and it was rumoured that videos of around twenty men being violated were found on his hard drive, Jerry Burns being one of those men. The day the police sat Jerry down and told him the full details, was the day his life changed forever.
So that’s how Jerry lost his virginity.
I wish I could say this ended like “A Christmas Carol” with Jerry becoming a better man, but I think he was just left traumatised. I personally didn’t feel any catharsis either, because yes, while I was honestly terrified when alone with Jerry, and couldn’t stand him as a person, I still never wished what had happened to him on anyone.
Jerry Burns quit drinking and eventually graduated but that’s about as much as I know. He doesn’t use social media anymore and I just hope he’s a little wiser.
