We were up at dawn. I was so excited I was nearly sick, but I still managed to eat a bowl of porridge. This was our Christmas trip we were embarking on … to have Christmas with my grandparents and my uncle and aunt in Cardiff.
‘Come on, Glynis,’ my mother shouted. ‘What on earth are you doing?’
I came downstairs wearing my pink fairy dress which I insisted was the proper outfit for Christmas.
Continue readingShe had dreamt of winning the really big fortune
And now she had finally done so she had also won
The lottery and she had also finally learnt about politics
And got to marry her sweetheart but it was not how
She imagined it would be or feel. She was living the dream
it was not all it cracked up to be. She had thought it
Would be living the dream it was living the dream but not
living it at all it, it was not like living at all.
As I reach to put my key in the front door, my husband pulled it open from inside. He shouted “You’ve won, you’ve one, we’re going on the cruise.” I was taken aback by the word “we”, I had had no intentions of taking him, as he had been getting on my nerves quite a lot lately.
He explained that he received a phone call whilst I was out, and had already given the lady all our details. We were to board at midday on 30th June, everything else had been taken care of. Not everything I thought to myself. I would have to go with the flow for now.
Continue readingMe and my wife wanted a nice special holiday. So we said we will save and look for nice hotels. So we went to get some brochures to see what looked the best and we saw a lovely hotel with a nice pool and a nice bar. Sun tan and beer at the pool, sports bar to play pool, bowls, and bingo and all other things.
Continue readingHer husband was a Strictly Come Dancing addict. You couldnt get his attention when the programme was on. But when she said, Malcolm, I think Im pregnant, he turned the tv off immediately, and danced her around the room. Theyd been trying for ten years and now shed conceived.
When the first scan revealed a girl, Malcolm began drawing up a list of necessary purchases such as a cot and a baby car-seat. Do we buy pink clothes, or is that sexist stereotyping nowadays? he asked solemnly.
It was to be the most exciting evening of my life.
A gala dinner and night in a five star hotel in London all expenses paid, a reward for all my hard work.
Time spent in the spa at the hotel, then the full beauty treatments. Hair, nails all perfect. My outfit the most expensive I’d ever bought.
Walking into the ballroom I noticed people smiling, as I went past feeling good. A waitress sidled up to me, ”Madame you have your dress tucked in your underwear.”
“I once found a magic lamp” said Brian “and a genie popped out of it.”
“Oh yeah?” Susie replied in her nasally croak “Was it a big burly man, naked from the waist up or was it a beautiful lady calling you master or some up?”
“It wasn’t like anything you could imagine,” Brian snorted “Didn’t look remotely human.”
“Was it pink?” yawned Susie “Did it have tentacles.”
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