As Rupa chugged the remnants of her Singha beer she caught sight of her inner arm tattoo and involuntarily winced with regret. The faded unicorn, a hazy reminder of a debauched weekend in Budapest with her bestie Ruby, who had the tattoo mirrored on her inner thigh.
“Who wears it best?!” they would often exclaim in unison. Rupa could never admit that she loathed it, seeing the unicorn as an emblem of her vulnerability, rather than a symbol of friendship. Rupa’s mother called Ruby ‘a bad influence’, whereas Rupa thought Ruby was ‘so much fun’. Collectively they were referred to by various monikers – the Ru Sisters, Ru Squared, Ru to the power of two or the more pedestrian Double Trouble.
Their friendship was cemented on heady teenage dreams and dares. A joint commitment to escaping their depressing Yorkshire mining town. Doing All the Things that sounded ‘so much fun’. And until now, they had beenfun.
This jaunt around South East Asia with Ruby had afforded Rupa the privilege of contemplation. A pause between graduating and the dreaded job search that would boomerang them back to their family homes. Through her daily meditation and journalling practice, Rupa had begun to explore who she was without Ruby
/
At the beach bar in Kho Tao, Ruby began to list some of their escapades and categorise them: –
Unicorn tattoo in Budapest – not much fun
Threesome in Mykonos – so much fun
Post threesome chlamydia – not much fun
Shoplifting from Patels newsagent – not much fun (so much guilt)
Planting bouillon cubes in Ruby’s parents ensuite shower – sooo much fun
Rainbow dyeing their hair for the school prom – so much fun
MDMA at Bestival – not much fun (also vomiting)
Bungee jumping off Whitby Bridge – so much fun
/
“Hey, hey Rupes” chimed Ruby as she bounced into the bar and plonked herself onto the rattan chair. “Bored” deadpanned Ruby, which Rupa recognised as a signifier for the next challenge. “Let’s try one of the magic mushroom omelettes. Just one between us, it’ll be – “
“I know, I know – so much fun” finished Ruby, her tone hollow. One last time, she thought before I finally stand up to her.
The dish looked innocuous, reminding Rupa of her late Nani’s efforts. She smothered it in sweet chilli sauce and took a generous forkful. Not bad, a bit chewy. As she munched away for what seemed like ages, she noticed that Ruby had not tried any.
Rupa opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out. Looking across the bay, she saw a pod of purple dolphins bouncing on the water. The black sun melted into the horizon, dissolving like tar onto the yellow water. She watched in horror as millions of ants crawled up her legs. Her chair began to shake as she gripped the table.
Rupa’s blood felt icy, throbbing as it raced through veins. As her throat began to constrict, Rupa thought this was one for list.
Not
Much
.
