Standing before the bathroom mirror she was startled by the shadow behind her
Mei always felt something was missing.
Mei 美 meant ‘beautiful’ in Mandarin, which she thought both cruel and comical as Mei felt anything but. Western beauty standards reared their ugly head during teenagehood, sparking a yearning for longer legs, wider eyes and fairer skin. A well disguised eating disorder joined the party.
The bathroom mirror continued to tell and withhold her secrets. A sallow complexion, a haunted stare. A half visible shadow emerged to her right
“If you’re not ready to visit the orphanage in Yangzhou, why don’t you try a DNA search company?” said Declan. “I’ve heard that FamilyDNA is the best one. Totally your call”.
At first Mei sighed heavily, then felt a sudden relief. Her shoulders dropped. An app would be the ideal way to explore her heritage, without disappointing her adoptive parents who had given her the world.
Thank goodness for Declan. Meeting him at university had been a revelation. None of the exasperating “Where are from? Where are you really from?” questions. No exoticising her looks. Just a genuine interest in her ideas, dreams and all things quotidian. This radical acceptance allowed her to be honest about the missing parts of her life puzzle.
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Mei reflected on her identity dissonance; it was like a lifelong friend who sometimes bullied her.
The only Asian child in the village school, a dark spot amongst the sea of fair heads on the classroom mat. To her parents, she was a gift from Yangzhou orphanage after a series of heartbreaks. A bubbly baby who blossomed into a gifted student. It was all so picture perfect.
Yet Mei had always sensed there was another world out there. A world where her family looked like her. A world where her ancestral roots were embedded deep into the earth. Somewhere she could walk through as part of the picture, instead of outside the frame
An escape route from small town life came in the form of a scholarship to Magdalen College. Oxford in early autumn was suffused in golden light. The sun enhanced the city’s beauty, bathing the ancient stones in a warm glow. Mei squinted at her reflection, looking for answers to her existential questions about belonging.
The mirror glinted in the sunshine. The penumbra now more distinct, echoing her profile
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Mei looked up from her phone, devoid of any sense of time. Her eyes were bloodshot. Her hand cramped from gripping the device for however long. Knowing she couldn’t face a call with her mother, she began to type
Hi Mum, I’ve been meaning to tell you
I’ve started to search for my biological family. The DNA search brought up a 99.9% match.
Is there anything you need to tell me? xx
The responding three dots on the screen came alive and then stopped, repeatedly.
She looked up at the hall mirror to see the distinct outline of her sister standing beside her.
