My stepfather, Sid, often talked about his sacrifices. He said it was about the three of us, carefully including Myles. But it wasn’t. It was about Eleanor and me. We were his entry passes to our mother’s orbit. She came as a package: long legs, blonde hair, and two kids, which was ideal for an insurance salesman. It gave him a ready-made family, including a trophy wife and two kids—the perfect image. But he resented us.
We rented a two-bedroom terrace, where the mice skittered across the pans when someone turned on the kitchen light, and a broken window remained unaddressed for the entire time we lived there. Five doors down was a house where men visited at irregular hours. I had an idea of what went on behind those shuttered windows, and I’m pretty sure Sid did too.
Then Myles, my brother, came along, and he became the new centre of our family universe. Sid chased his dreams and revenue streams, and eventually, success came his way. We moved to a larger house, where the backyard overlooked a playground full of smartly dressed mothers and serious-faced fathers.
I loved Myles, and he cried when I left for university, even though I promised to come back, but Sid gave me a look that said, “You’re not coming back.”
My sister left too. She looked like Mum by then, and it seems this did not go unnoticed by Sid.
After graduating, I started at a solicitors’ firm and got a house with my girlfriend, Emma. Then one evening, a knock came at our door.
“It’s your brother,” Emma said, “and he’s hurt.”
I ran to the door to find Myles, blood caked on his face.
“It’s Dad. He hit Mum,” he cried. “She followed him to the hooker’s house by our old place. He snapped and hit her. I jumped in front of him, and he punched me in the face as I bundled her back in the car.”
“Where’s mum?” I demanded. Myles told me she’d gone to Eleanor’s to stay, but there wasn’t enough room for him, so he got a train over to me.
By this time, anger had settled deeply in my chest, and I picked up my car keys.
Emma looked worried. “Where are you going?”
“I’ve got to see if Mum is okay.”
When I arrived, even from four floors down, I could hear Sid shouting, which is when I made my mistake and picked up my wheel wrench.
That’s why I am writing this diary entry in my cell. It only took one blow. I admitted my guilt and got gaoled. I lost my job, and, judging by the look in Emma’s eyes when she visited, she won’t be back. Mum said my room is ready for me when I get out, but I’ll have to start my life again.
Still, sometimes, sacrifices must be made when you do the right thing, and that’s what I did. So, I don’t have any regrets.
