It was here, in this very spot, that I met him last year. I was taking a cigarette break in between tooth-collecting stops, admiring the view of the town below.
Only one house was close enough to see inside – log fire burning, Christmas tree aglow, presents piled beneath it. A couple clinked wine glasses on a squishy sofa.
‘Cheers!’ I muttered, raising my cigarette aloft. I had my own present haul in a bag beside me. I’d only taken a few gifts from the children’s stockings while I grabbed their teeth. I called it a Christmas Eve bonus, although it was mostly tat.
Behind me, a rustling sound in the long grass. I turned to see Santa striding towards me. No jingle-bell warning like in the movies – he’d left the reindeer in the next field. I dropped the cigarette and stamped on it, waving the smoke away.
‘Don’t mind me,’ he said, reaching inside his suit. He took a long swig from a sliver hip-flask before handing it to me. We sat down, passing it back and forth.
‘So magical when they believe, isn’t it?’ He gestured towards the couple in the cosy house.
‘Huh?’ My head was already spinning from the two sips of sherry.
‘They think they did all that: the shopping, the present-wrapping. All of it. They don’t know I exist. Not ‘til their children grow up and forget, at least. Lovely while it lasts.’ He sighed. ‘I’m getting too old for this game.’
I almost choked on my drink. ‘What? You only work one night a year! Some of us are out here every night.’
‘There’s seasonal work for fairies too. Didn’t you fancy that gig?’
I looked at the fairy atop the tree. ‘Ugh. The ultimate indignity. A Christmas tree right up your…’
‘A wish-granting job, then?’ he said swiftly.
I took another swig, the alcohol burning my throat. ‘Tried that. Got sacked for granting a family any wish from a Christmas song. The kid wished for it to be Christmas every day and his Dad wished he was home for Christmas. But the Mum had already skated away on a river. I did laugh! The elder fairies didn’t find it funny, though.’
Santa might have stifled a smile. ‘I could do with a helper.’
My heart leapt before I remembered. ‘I’m still on probation.’
‘How about you accompany me on my rounds tonight, and we return this lot as we go?’ He eyed my bag of stolen presents.
‘How did you… never mind, yes!’
The rest of the night was a blur after all that sherry. I may have put teeth in the stockings and delivered presents to the elders instead of a stash of milk-teeth. But among them was a Dyson hairdryer, which solved the Fairy Queen’s longstanding flat hair problem, so I passed my probation.
This year, I have a new boss and part-time hours. And this remains our tipple-stop. Cheers! See you tonight.
Unless I decide to keep your presents…
